Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Exfactorradio.com Interview
Listen hear to Lisa's interview about 'life' and divorce with Exfactorradio.com.
Host Andy Pearson speaks candidly with Lisa about the challenges created by divorce.
Can relationships last?
Must divorces be so messy?
How can men and women better relate to one another to ensure a happy and healthy life experience together?
These questions and others are answered during this eye opening interview.
Namaste...
http://www.exfactorradio.com/wp-content/podcasts/exfactor08042012.mp3
Host Andy Pearson speaks candidly with Lisa about the challenges created by divorce.
Can relationships last?
Must divorces be so messy?
How can men and women better relate to one another to ensure a happy and healthy life experience together?
These questions and others are answered during this eye opening interview.
Namaste...
http://www.exfactorradio.com/wp-content/podcasts/exfactor08042012.mp3
Friday, August 17, 2012
Manifest The Life You Desire Now--Because Your Life Is Going To End
Yesterday, while sitting in a doctor's waiting area, I picked up what was intended to be a child's book on dinosaurs. While sifting through it, I came across simple explanations as well as complimentary illustrations that highlighted the beginnings of planet earth.
As I thumbed through each page of this child's book, I could not help but feel in awe of what I was--for the first time beginning to deeply comprehend.
My life--your life--life--is but a flickering of a flame, that will one day gently fade.
Almost incomprehensible is the idea that our earth's surface was once one mass of land. Through the churning of the earth, has come these separations of land that we now call the continents.
And so it is I wonder, what will planet earth become in another one billion years?
On a more personal home front I wonder, have I done all that was possible for one human being to do while a physical being on this still somewhat dry physical earth?
Do I truly appreciate the life I have been given?
Do I truly appreciate the very real fact that one day my life will be done?
Do I truly appreciate that how I treat others, is how I will be treated by others?
Do I truly appreciate how good it feels to laugh, to play, to respect others, and to let go?
Do I truly appreciate how unnecessary it is to worry about what others think about me, my decisions, my looks, or my life?
Do I truly appreciate how--no matter how deeply I dig in my heels and cause a silly fuss--that the world keeps on spinning--and thus continues to expand...like it has done since the beginning of time?
You can laugh or you can cry...You can live by default, or you can create the life you desire...You can blame or you can claim...You can be fair minded, or selfishly irrational...What you are--you attract...
The universe does not judge your emotional offering. It is an attraction based physical world, simply drawing like matter to like matter. If you have anger in your heart, expect experiences to show up in your life to reinforce that anger.
If you have love in your heart, expect experiences to show up that help you to love more deeply.
If you have fear and hopelessness in your heart, expect situations to manifest that will reinforce those fears of hopelessness...
But...
If you keep your heart and your mind set on the pure desires of your soul, and if you can learn to ignore reality, especially when things don't look so peachy--and if you can thus learn to continue offering an emotional vibration that matches the desires of your heart, you can deliberately manifest the life you desire...and eventually learn to comprehend the incomprehensible...
You--me--we are but specks of dust that have been given the miraculous opportunity to manifest as physical human beings with the stupendous ability to create our own realities...
So while most humans worry, obsess, fear, and complain, I prefer to continue learning how to master my own destiny--because I know one day my chance at having fun on this physical planet called earth will be done...
And although there are times when heavy negative human emotions start to drag me down, I continue to strive to accept that what I offer emotionally I also attract...and so it is up to me to stay ever mindful of what my emotional offering is...
These days my work is to laugh more and to work less...to appreciate more and to complain less...to understand more and to judge less...to hope more and to worry less...
One day--my chance at love, peace, happiness and fun will be done...and so will yours my friend...
Peace, joy and love to you...
Namaste...
As I thumbed through each page of this child's book, I could not help but feel in awe of what I was--for the first time beginning to deeply comprehend.
My life--your life--life--is but a flickering of a flame, that will one day gently fade.
Almost incomprehensible is the idea that our earth's surface was once one mass of land. Through the churning of the earth, has come these separations of land that we now call the continents.
And so it is I wonder, what will planet earth become in another one billion years?
On a more personal home front I wonder, have I done all that was possible for one human being to do while a physical being on this still somewhat dry physical earth?
Do I truly appreciate the life I have been given?
Do I truly appreciate the very real fact that one day my life will be done?
Do I truly appreciate that how I treat others, is how I will be treated by others?
Do I truly appreciate how good it feels to laugh, to play, to respect others, and to let go?
Do I truly appreciate how unnecessary it is to worry about what others think about me, my decisions, my looks, or my life?
Do I truly appreciate how--no matter how deeply I dig in my heels and cause a silly fuss--that the world keeps on spinning--and thus continues to expand...like it has done since the beginning of time?
You can laugh or you can cry...You can live by default, or you can create the life you desire...You can blame or you can claim...You can be fair minded, or selfishly irrational...What you are--you attract...
The universe does not judge your emotional offering. It is an attraction based physical world, simply drawing like matter to like matter. If you have anger in your heart, expect experiences to show up in your life to reinforce that anger.
If you have love in your heart, expect experiences to show up that help you to love more deeply.
If you have fear and hopelessness in your heart, expect situations to manifest that will reinforce those fears of hopelessness...
But...
If you keep your heart and your mind set on the pure desires of your soul, and if you can learn to ignore reality, especially when things don't look so peachy--and if you can thus learn to continue offering an emotional vibration that matches the desires of your heart, you can deliberately manifest the life you desire...and eventually learn to comprehend the incomprehensible...
You--me--we are but specks of dust that have been given the miraculous opportunity to manifest as physical human beings with the stupendous ability to create our own realities...
So while most humans worry, obsess, fear, and complain, I prefer to continue learning how to master my own destiny--because I know one day my chance at having fun on this physical planet called earth will be done...
And although there are times when heavy negative human emotions start to drag me down, I continue to strive to accept that what I offer emotionally I also attract...and so it is up to me to stay ever mindful of what my emotional offering is...
These days my work is to laugh more and to work less...to appreciate more and to complain less...to understand more and to judge less...to hope more and to worry less...
One day--my chance at love, peace, happiness and fun will be done...and so will yours my friend...
Peace, joy and love to you...
Namaste...
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Verbal Abuse; When Children Abuse Parents
If you have ever been ripped open by someone else's rage, you know how excruciating, confusing and mind bending the experience of being deliberately harmed can be.
When those we love are unable to rationalize their feelings, we sometimes wind up being used as an emotional whipping post. Because we care for the one we love who seems to be in pain, we stand there and listen to their words in an attempt to somehow comprehend where their pain is coming from. But when the one we love is spewing in rage, and the words that are coming from their mouths are cruel and spoken with the intent to cripple us, it is all but impossible at times to not crumble under the weight of the verbal attack.
Verbal abuse is not an easy form of abuse to acknowledge or identify. Because the one who is in rage is convinced their anger is justified, they are detached from the consequences their words are having on their victims. Because very often people who are raging and spewing their crucifying accusations at others do not resort to violence, the abuser fails to recognize they have done any harm.
When a parent is verbally assaulting a child, it is fairly easy to identify. And when a man is demoralizing his wife, this too is a situation involving verbal abuse that is not difficult to define as abusive. But when the rage involved belongs to a child, and the person at the other end of the rampage is a parent, it is not a situation that is as easy to identify as abusive. Because their is a presumed responsibility of parent to child, the boundaries are not as easily defined. But anytime a person is in rage, and as a result is unable to take responsibility for the cruel words that come from their mouths, the exchange is considered abusive.
When there is a deep love between a parent and a child, and when the child lashes out, is accusatory, casts blame, is vulgar, disrespectful, and belittles the parent, it is quite difficult for the parent to be able to think clearly. Because as parents we want nothing more than to witness our children being happy, when we discover our children are unhappy, and then in turn are blamed for their unhappiness through the rampage of verbal assaults, it is sometimes an impossible thing not to crumble under the weight of shattered dreams.
It is crucial however, that parents do not tolerate verbal abuse. In order for healing to ever occur, boundaries must be adhered to. Open, clear, calm communication, with the heartfelt intent to heal what is at the root of the issues is essential to the healing process. If the child is unable to speak about their feelings without an attachment to rage, then professional help should be considered.
There is never any reason to feel like a prisoner in ones own home. A parent should never fear their child's anger, rage, words, or physical abuse. Whenever words are used with the intent of harming another in an emotional, spiritual or intellectual way, the exchange is considered abusive. Detach, stay quiet and calm, and above all things maintain clear boundaries, and seek help from professionals.
When those we love are unable to rationalize their feelings, we sometimes wind up being used as an emotional whipping post. Because we care for the one we love who seems to be in pain, we stand there and listen to their words in an attempt to somehow comprehend where their pain is coming from. But when the one we love is spewing in rage, and the words that are coming from their mouths are cruel and spoken with the intent to cripple us, it is all but impossible at times to not crumble under the weight of the verbal attack.
Verbal abuse is not an easy form of abuse to acknowledge or identify. Because the one who is in rage is convinced their anger is justified, they are detached from the consequences their words are having on their victims. Because very often people who are raging and spewing their crucifying accusations at others do not resort to violence, the abuser fails to recognize they have done any harm.
When a parent is verbally assaulting a child, it is fairly easy to identify. And when a man is demoralizing his wife, this too is a situation involving verbal abuse that is not difficult to define as abusive. But when the rage involved belongs to a child, and the person at the other end of the rampage is a parent, it is not a situation that is as easy to identify as abusive. Because their is a presumed responsibility of parent to child, the boundaries are not as easily defined. But anytime a person is in rage, and as a result is unable to take responsibility for the cruel words that come from their mouths, the exchange is considered abusive.
When there is a deep love between a parent and a child, and when the child lashes out, is accusatory, casts blame, is vulgar, disrespectful, and belittles the parent, it is quite difficult for the parent to be able to think clearly. Because as parents we want nothing more than to witness our children being happy, when we discover our children are unhappy, and then in turn are blamed for their unhappiness through the rampage of verbal assaults, it is sometimes an impossible thing not to crumble under the weight of shattered dreams.
It is crucial however, that parents do not tolerate verbal abuse. In order for healing to ever occur, boundaries must be adhered to. Open, clear, calm communication, with the heartfelt intent to heal what is at the root of the issues is essential to the healing process. If the child is unable to speak about their feelings without an attachment to rage, then professional help should be considered.
There is never any reason to feel like a prisoner in ones own home. A parent should never fear their child's anger, rage, words, or physical abuse. Whenever words are used with the intent of harming another in an emotional, spiritual or intellectual way, the exchange is considered abusive. Detach, stay quiet and calm, and above all things maintain clear boundaries, and seek help from professionals.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
The Power Of The Mind
One of the primary functions of the mind is to create coherence.
Therefore, your mind will take whatever information you fill it with, and create a belief system that matches it--in order for the whole mind to interpret itself as sane.
If you bombard your brain with negative thoughts--expect a belief to be formed that supports it--and further--expect to attract or manifest situations to support that which you believe.
Your thoughts create...your reality...
A negative thought will create negative situations...whereas a positive outlook will manifest a positive life experience.
There are no victims...but there are people who just don't know or investigate the abilities of their own minds.
Namaste...
Therefore, your mind will take whatever information you fill it with, and create a belief system that matches it--in order for the whole mind to interpret itself as sane.
If you bombard your brain with negative thoughts--expect a belief to be formed that supports it--and further--expect to attract or manifest situations to support that which you believe.
Your thoughts create...your reality...
A negative thought will create negative situations...whereas a positive outlook will manifest a positive life experience.
There are no victims...but there are people who just don't know or investigate the abilities of their own minds.
Namaste...
The Angry Enabler
Ever notice that sometimes when you give someone who is obviously contributing to their own misery an honest assessment of their role in the melodrama of their life, they tune you out?
We all have friends who take on roles of martyrs and then weep and moan because the people they are catering to don't appreciate them.
We all know parents who enable their children, and then who get angry when someone comes along and finally tells them to stop making excuses for their child's behavior.
Martyrs, although on the surface seem to be victims of other people's insensitivity, in reality are not victims at all. Many times martyrs and enablers are attempting to manipulate others into doing what 'they' think they should do. Superficially, the martyr seems concerned. But because martyrs and enablers rarely know how to make themselves happy--they also don't know how to take responsibility for why they might be angry or unhappy, and blame the ones they cater to for why they can't get on with their lives.
The codependent dance is a seductive one. Because we humans tend to judge situations by what we see physically, it is difficult to lay blame on a martyr--when the martyr is depressed, sad, or confused. And who amongst us really has the gall to look an enabling mother or father in the eye and say, "Let your kid suffer the consequences of his/her own actions--and in the meantime--get on with your life."
Part of codependent recovery is learning to own the fact that no one is responsible for your misery. Nor is anyone responsible for your happiness.
Unhappy people make unhappy spouses...lovers...friends...co-workers..neighbors...and acquaintances.
People who tend to believe that others are why they are so unhappy, also tend to believe that others are responsible for why they sometimes get angry.
At the core of it all is a deep sense of low self worth. People who believe that others are responsible for how they feel--don't think they are capable of being totally responsible for themselves. They fear abandonment, because they do not believe they are capable enough to be self reliant. They instead lock themselves into codependent dances that lead to emotional bondage--give up their rights to own their own selves and spend their lives blaming others for why they are the way they are.
And when an enabler or martyr is confronted head on with the truth--they turn away from any idea that leads them towards personal responsibility.
I heard a woman once say, "If there were no codependent martyrs or enablers, there would be no addicts, nor would the world be full of unhappy people. If people learned to love themselves, they wouldn't need to cling to others, nor would they get depressed when others didn't do exactly what the enabler wanted them to do. The world would be full of happy people, and manipulation would have to end."
Food for thoughts...
Namaste...
We all have friends who take on roles of martyrs and then weep and moan because the people they are catering to don't appreciate them.
We all know parents who enable their children, and then who get angry when someone comes along and finally tells them to stop making excuses for their child's behavior.
Martyrs, although on the surface seem to be victims of other people's insensitivity, in reality are not victims at all. Many times martyrs and enablers are attempting to manipulate others into doing what 'they' think they should do. Superficially, the martyr seems concerned. But because martyrs and enablers rarely know how to make themselves happy--they also don't know how to take responsibility for why they might be angry or unhappy, and blame the ones they cater to for why they can't get on with their lives.
The codependent dance is a seductive one. Because we humans tend to judge situations by what we see physically, it is difficult to lay blame on a martyr--when the martyr is depressed, sad, or confused. And who amongst us really has the gall to look an enabling mother or father in the eye and say, "Let your kid suffer the consequences of his/her own actions--and in the meantime--get on with your life."
Part of codependent recovery is learning to own the fact that no one is responsible for your misery. Nor is anyone responsible for your happiness.
Unhappy people make unhappy spouses...lovers...friends...co-workers..neighbors...and acquaintances.
People who tend to believe that others are why they are so unhappy, also tend to believe that others are responsible for why they sometimes get angry.
At the core of it all is a deep sense of low self worth. People who believe that others are responsible for how they feel--don't think they are capable of being totally responsible for themselves. They fear abandonment, because they do not believe they are capable enough to be self reliant. They instead lock themselves into codependent dances that lead to emotional bondage--give up their rights to own their own selves and spend their lives blaming others for why they are the way they are.
And when an enabler or martyr is confronted head on with the truth--they turn away from any idea that leads them towards personal responsibility.
I heard a woman once say, "If there were no codependent martyrs or enablers, there would be no addicts, nor would the world be full of unhappy people. If people learned to love themselves, they wouldn't need to cling to others, nor would they get depressed when others didn't do exactly what the enabler wanted them to do. The world would be full of happy people, and manipulation would have to end."
Food for thoughts...
Namaste...
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