Walking On Eggshells--Healing the Codependent Child Within

For so many of us who grew up in homes that made us feel like our everyday life was one that was walked upon eggshells, it is sadly ordinary for us to approach our adult lives from the faulty precept that it is normal for us to feel like at any moment the rug is going to be pulled out from beneath us.  We then tiptoe our way around our bosses, friends, lovers, neighbors, and family dysfunctionally unaware that the very filters we adopted as children as a means to survive, is minimizing the life we were intended to live.

Codependent thinking is a survival skill children learn to help them cope with the chronic stress they lived with under the care of those who either used chemicals such as alcohol, marijuana or other drugs--or who were under the care of the ego based narcissistic self absorbed, intolerant, critical, over religious, non-sensical, ignorant, aggressive or emotionally absent parent.

Learning to tune oneself into others is the way stressed children survive.

By becoming hyper-vigilant children who fear being judged, abused, or painfully ignored--learn to set their sights on those around them so that they can simply ward off a possible attack.

But when as adults, these codependent brilliant little children do not learn how to let those coping skills go--they sadly live their lives on the edge of their seat, and fail to tune into the magnificent creature they are within.

Life then is lived as a passenger rather than the owner of ones own reality manifesting a life by a fulfilled spirits design.

The goal then as codependents who have now moved beyond our families of origin--is to soften those old survival reflexes--and to adopt new patterns of thought so that we can ultimately take control back over our lives.

As a recovering codependent myself--I can safely and assuredly say--that life is worth living--and that nothing is more rewarding than mastering the mind by way of healing the codependent child within...

When I finally let go and felt the unhealthy bonds to those I love fall away, it was then I could finally focus on myself.

If you are not focusing on your self and you are spending your time trying to get others to give you permission to feel what you feel or dream what you dream or do what you want to do, you are pinching yourself off from the DIVINE and MIRACULOUS POWER within

You are loved...

Namaste...

Attachments

If when we were upset, we would just take the time to think about WHY we were upset, we would ultimately come to the conclusion that an attachment to some 'thing' or 'outcome' was to blame.

In life we rarely stop to think our emotions through.  Instead we cling to our emotions ignorant to divine truth.  We are not our feelings.

We--we--intelligent thinking creatures rarely--think...Instead we cling, obsess, and get stuck in emotions as if our minds had no ability to choose the thoughts it thinks.

We are human beings and thus we were all born with the ability to focus--but rarely under times of stress do we call on our divine ability to think our way out of the discomfort, some negative emotions can be.

Instead of catering to our children's emotions, and training them to believe that unhappiness is an unacceptable state--we should allow our children to learn to accept their moments of unhappiness just as we would a happy emotion.

Because we have been conditioned to judge our emotions as either good or bad--we have given unnecessary power to negative emotions--and have trained ourselves into fearing these things we call feelings.

Feelings are just feelings--and they are indicators of where we stand emotionally at any point in time.

What one person sees as junk, another sees as treasure. Whose perception is real?


Cling to nothing--not a thought--not a word--not a thing--not a home--nor to another.

Without attachments, fear must fade like a block of ice on a hot stove.

The Answers To Life--Creation--and Why You Were Born

Your birth is no accident.  You are an extension of source.  You knew--before you enter this time space reality that you were a creator--and that through the power of your mind you had the ability to focus.

You also knew that this time space reality is vibrational in nature and is attraction based.  You knew here, in this physical world you would get to choose your thoughts--if--if--if--you ever used your free will to do so.

You knew this life experience would be but a twinkling of an eye experience compared to the existence of this planet.  You desired to come forth and to feel your way through life, picking and choosing the experiences you enjoyed, as well as did not enjoy.

At your birth you were connected to this infinite stream of abundance, and your inner being--on a vibrational level owned this feeling.

But because this planet had been for so long infused with negative experiences of others--and because the rising powers amongst you have fought centuries to suppress the feminine, the dominant vibration of this world is not loving in nature.  Instead it has been infected with fear and the need to dominate, control and destroy anything the super powers have deemed unacceptable.

But that is alright.  For a new age is upon as.  And the vibrational feel of the planet is changing.

The stock market has crashed.  Financial gluttons have toppled, and religious doctrines are being weakened.  It is becoming easier to understand that peace can never be attained through violence. Materialism is being exposed for the illusion it is, and more than ever people are discovering that what they have been taught about themselves, others or the world is not trustworthy.

Before this time, centuries of earlier man have spent much of their past history fighting for this thing or that.  And as a result, fear has gripped many hearts that have entered this time and space...and that fear has left a dark vibrational energy here with us, like phantom DNA.

But as generations die off and new beings are brought into this time space reality, and as the vibrational offering of the planet changes, beings more than ever are finding the courage to unravel the mysteries of the ancient spiritual masters.

Ancient masters like many of the American Indian tribes understood the innate connections humans had to the earth.  But because rulers in Europe had been falsely conditioned to believe that possessing material things like land, and raw materials was the key to happiness...they saw American Indians as threats.

American Indians honored their intrinsic connections to mother earth, and therefore America was intended to be a harmonious land.  The male, destructive energy brought here by boat from Europe however, fought hard to destroy the creative, nurturing and tender energy the American Indians practiced, and thus left a deep, dark vibrational footprint on our land.

As December 2012 approaches, the frequency of the earth is increasing, and because the circadian rhythms of humans are tied to the frequencies emitted from the earths core, humans are evolving in various ways.

As our frequencies increase, we will all have less tolerance for dark energies that will want to bring us down.  For those of us whose deepest desires are to own our own experiences, we will find that our relationships will begin to expose negative aspects of those relationships so we can either address them, or leave the relationship all together.  Our new vibrational set points will not allow for dark energies to hold us back any longer.

Man is evolving, and that evolution is not only of the mind, but of the body and is being accomplished through vibrational frequencies.

Dear friend, you came here as a creator.  And although your beginnings may have been dark, you get to bounce off of all the negative experiences you have ever endured and through the power of focus, you now get to pick and choose the life experiences you desire.

Just as birds of a feather flock together so too do thoughts...

Thoughts of a feather flock together.

And vibrational frequencies do align in this time space reality.

The longer you stay stuck in the old, dark, negative vibrational frequencies of all those unaware beings before you, the further away you hold yourself from your eternal truth.

Incrementally, bit by bit, through the divine ability humans have to focus, by practicing harmonious vibrations your thoughts will begin to flock with more positive thoughts...and eventually your physical reality MUST change.

It is LAW.

Your new vibrational set point will then cause you to magnetically attract others in your environment that share the same positive set point.

Miraculously then--you get the chance to co-create with others.

You are not nor ever were not enough.

Everything you need is within you...

Join those of us who have decided to continue to raise the vibrational frequencies of this planet as we ascend to a new earth.

You are love.  You are light.  You are everything.

Namaste...

Fear of The Abyss; Healing The Wounds of Shame and Perfectionism

Great Book.

As an author of self help books myself, I always enjoy finding other authors who tend to approach hard core issues from deeper and often times forgotten perspectives.

I agree wholeheartedly with all of the ideas presented in this book, and I was touched by the authors empathy for her shame based clients. I agree that without self awareness-or awareness of the self-healing is impaired. And truer--because our society is infused with perfectionism, shame, and bias it is all but impossible for beings not to suffer some kind of psychological wound that falsely imposes self loathing opinions about ones self.

However, this book and its detailed picking apart of the root causes of shame and perfectionism in our society and how it directly impacts how one sees him/herself is eye opening, and mind expanding.

It is essential that as victims of societies need to create shame based beings in order to fuel materialism and thus profit--that individuals learn to enforce their right to know and honor thy self--because this society does not teach the love of self--in fact--it teaches the very opposite--and creates internal havoc within the minds of individuals along the way--which in turn fuels the bottom line by creating the illusions that fuel depression, addiction, and relationship problems.

This book is by far part of the solution..and I highly recommend it to others.

I would like to add however, that as a recovering codependent, I firmly believe that shame and perfectionism and thus depression are caused by codependent and unconscious belief systems. Whenever an individual falsely believes that they require someone else's validation, or acceptance and fears being rejected by others, they are codependently placing their sense of self and thus worth into the hands of another mortal and imperfect human being...whose unconscious and probable primary goal is to control the other being in the first place...

Whenever an individual unconsciously believes that others must be, act, think and even express love the way they think they should--they are unconsciously looking to control the other in the unconscious hope that their emotional wounds may be soothed.

In the end it is up to the individual to honor their own mind, and to integrate their own spirit so that the body can then exist in a harmonic state...

This book will help unlock old and unconscious beliefs and help individuals who are ready to learn and thus honor their own selves along this journey called life.

Namaste...

Lisa A. Romano
Self Awareness Coach/Speaker/Healer
Bestselling Author

The Road Back To Me
Healing From WIthin Adventures In Manifesting Comment | Permalink

The Truth Shall Set You Free

The undeniable truth is that at your core--apart from who your parents were, or what they taught you, or what they did to you--you are perfect in every sense of the word.

At your core--apart from all the negative influences of earlier and less evolved man--you are as divine as any star, moon, or sun.  At your core--apart from what society, advertisers, family, friends, or schools have taught you to believe about you and your world--you are as worthy as any planet in the sky.

At your core--apart from what you have been wrongly conditioned to believe about you and this world--everything is unblemished, and is in harmony with the universe and universes at large whether man consciously believes it is or not.

There is no need to worry.

The planet, the sun, the moons, and all the other planets in our galaxy have never been told how to spin, or shine, or rest.  The sky knows when to rain down on the ground below, and the earth knows just how quickly to revolve.  Our hearts beat according to the pulse emitted from the core of the earth...our bodies in tune with our planet--in spite of our unawareness of it--is as divine as any blade of grass.

Just as perennial plants have their season--and then seem to fade for awhile--so too is it with physical beings.

We shall have our season in the sun...and then one day it will seem as if we have faded.

But that will not be the truth.

It is not possible to destroy the nature of what makes us physical.

At our core, we are pure light energy.  We are an atom--mostly full of space...A seemingly miniscule particle of light energy...and since energy cannot be destroyed...the essence of a physical beings can never possibly know death as the man of mind has been conditioned to believe death is today.

Your worry is not necessary--although your ego and fear of letting go will tell you it is...

The more you have been bruised as a child, the deeper the nails of your ego will want to stay dug into your soul.

Information will set you free, and soften the need for the cloak that is your false ego.  And eventually, as your conscious mind continues to absorb your truth--your ego shall set you free...

You are light...let go...trust...and shine...

Namaste...

Repairing The Codependent Mind

Low self esteem is the result of unconscious codependent thinking.

When I expect others to validate me, to accept me, and to love me the way I believe they should, I hold myself apart from the vibrational of love that I am within me.

When I expect others to do what I think they should do--I hold them apart from the vibration of love that I could be offering them on an emotional level.

When I expect that others should be--do--think--and behave according to the way I want them to...I cut myself off from love and acceptance and step into a path of negative resistance...and cause dis-ease within my body.

When the governments of one country expect the governments of another country to think--be--and believe in what they think they should--on a global level we create tremendous vibrational disharmony on our planet.

Science has proven that emotions change our vibrational frequencies.

Vibrational frequencies show up in the form of emotions.

Whenever we dis-love ourselves--we are interrupting the positive flow of energy in our bodies--and causing dis-ease within us.

Whenever we on a familial, social, or global level dis-love others--we absolutely cause dis-ease in our world.

The path to enlightenment begins in our own reality and in our perceptions of our own 'self' first...

For as a  man thinketh--so shall he/she become...

If I love me--I cannot help but love you...and the world WE share...

Healing codependent thinking is the key to freeing our minds, as well as the world of its pain.

Namaste...

Self Healing-Healing From Within: Buddhism, Christianity, and The Law of Attraction

Self Healing-Healing From Within: Buddhism, Christianity, and The Law of Attraction

Self Healing-Healing From Within: Are You Comfortable In Your Own Skin?

Self Healing-Healing From Within: Are You Comfortable In Your Own Skin?

Are You Comfortable In Your Own Skin?

Wisdom is timeless.

As it was in the beginning, it is now and ever shall be.

Who has ever entered this time-space reality and not yearned to be comfortable in their own skin?

The illogicality of this desired premise is the notion that our comfortability depends on our skin itself.

Yet, many a fine beauty has felt vile in her own skin.  So then, what beings yearn for cannot be found in the flesh and blood of the material world.

What we are after, is non-physical--invisible--and vibrational in nature.

All creatures crave harmony from within.  Harmony is a word that is used mostly to describe pleasing music and or sounds.  Harmony--sound--music--are all vibrational in nature.  What beings seek is vibrational harmony from within its own being.

It is possible to become comfortable in one's own skin, even if one's own skin is not comfortable.

It is not possible to achieve harmony from within without accepting what is the current state.

It is not possible to heal from within, without first accepting where one is first.

If you are not happy, or if you believe you have been broken, that is alright.  It is better to accept that one is broken and then take steps to achieve wholeness than to deny ones current reality and thus create an incongruent emotional state of being.

Falsely believing that one needs others to validate one's current state, is like falsely presuming one needs permission from another to breath.

Allow what is, even if what is--is uncomfortable...and then allow your self the permission to slip into being comfortable with what is...

See your self...and Free your self...

Namaste...

Self Healing-Healing From Within: Why Do Bad Things Keep Happening To Me

Self Healing-Healing From Within: Why Do Bad Things Keep Happening To Me