When you are the adult child of an alcoholic, or like me, when you are the adult child of an adult child of an alcoholic, healing can be quite the adventure.
Because we have been taught to disown Self, often times we do not fully realize we have been emotionally abused. We are so suppressed, and disconnected, we aren't even aware of how much trouble we are in. In spite of continually attracting the same type of emotional vampires into our lives, we sometimes never make the connection to our pasts. Many adult children live their lives telling themselves as well as others, that everything is 'just fine'.
One of the most difficult aspects of alcoholism abuse, is the fact that many survivors don't 'get' that they've been abused. So accustomed to enabling and catering to others at the expense of Self, many adult children have become deaf to their own souls. Because adult children were emotionally neglected as children, their antennae for love and nurturing have sort of crumbled away. Adult children often times settle for what shows up--even when what shows up--is crap.
An important component to healing from codependency is acknowledging the pain that has long gone been buried beneath survival skills. Although adult children sometimes have a difficult time acknowledging the fact that they have been wounded, the scars remain, suspended in time--until the being finally becomes allowing of the pain to surface.
Allowing, surrendering and accepting the pain of the past is always uncomfortable. Luckily there are countless organizations and meetings all over this country that support the codependent healing process.
If you want to heal--first you must peel--and then feel...eventually you then learn how to deal..with your feelings...and then finally you will heal...
Because we have been taught to disown Self, often times we do not fully realize we have been emotionally abused. We are so suppressed, and disconnected, we aren't even aware of how much trouble we are in. In spite of continually attracting the same type of emotional vampires into our lives, we sometimes never make the connection to our pasts. Many adult children live their lives telling themselves as well as others, that everything is 'just fine'.
One of the most difficult aspects of alcoholism abuse, is the fact that many survivors don't 'get' that they've been abused. So accustomed to enabling and catering to others at the expense of Self, many adult children have become deaf to their own souls. Because adult children were emotionally neglected as children, their antennae for love and nurturing have sort of crumbled away. Adult children often times settle for what shows up--even when what shows up--is crap.
An important component to healing from codependency is acknowledging the pain that has long gone been buried beneath survival skills. Although adult children sometimes have a difficult time acknowledging the fact that they have been wounded, the scars remain, suspended in time--until the being finally becomes allowing of the pain to surface.
Allowing, surrendering and accepting the pain of the past is always uncomfortable. Luckily there are countless organizations and meetings all over this country that support the codependent healing process.
If you want to heal--first you must peel--and then feel...eventually you then learn how to deal..with your feelings...and then finally you will heal...
I just finished reading your book and want to say thanks for sharing your story. I'm also an adult child of an adult children and could so relate. Although my folks really didn't drink much or physically hurt me, I grew up never feeling good enough and not loved. It took two addicted children and a few years in a 12-step support group before I could connect my problems to alcoholism and codependancy. Thanks again for your story.
ReplyDeleteSandra
Hi Sandra,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for taking the time to comment on my blog about my book.
Your feedback is exactly what this recovering codependent needs...lol...Although I try really hard not to need to be validated...when it comes to my story, and especially my book--I find knowing that others have actually benefited from my book helps heal wounds in me that are very old and deep.
It never ceases to amaze me to discover how incredibly wounded we grandchildren of alcoholics can be...
I would so appreciate you writing me a review on Amazon for my book...
My passion is to help other adult children of adult children of alcoholics learn to connect the dots in their emotional lives...
Your perspective from the adult child of ACoA would so help push my book forward in my plight...
I truly truly appreciate that you purchased my book, and also took the time to write me such a kind post here on my blog...
Thank you sister...
Namaste...namaste...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete