When I was small,
You were my world,
And I was just a small part of it.
You were it--it all.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
When you called my name,
I prayed it was because you wanted to give me a hug,
It used to break my heart,
When you told me I should be ashamed.
I never lost hoping that one day,
You'd see the little girl,
Beyond what only your eyes could see,
Who couldn't help but love you anyway.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
You never knew that inside,
I felt like I was dying,
Because I never felt ''enough'.
Truckloads of silent tears I cried.
In your eyes I would search for love,
That could heal my child's heart,
And make me feel a part,
Of the family I was born of.
But in your eyes,
All I could see,
Was what you could not get past,
No matter how hard the little girl in me tried.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
I got older,
And I hated my body,
I hated my hair, my eyes, and my teeth too.
It was then I began giving you the cold shoulder.
Because you couldn't love me,
The way I needed to be loved,
I thought I was no good, not enough--ugly.
And so I loved others and hoped it would set me free.
But I was wrong,
No one could love me,
Not them, nor you...
Which is why I wrote you this song.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
Boys abused my shame,
Told me I was pretty,
And that I was good,
But it only numbed the pain.
My heart only knew,
It didn't feel loved,
And so I believed the boys when they said,
"I love you..."
I learned my lessons, although I am battered and bruised,
Love isn't supposed to hurt,
Or make you feel,
Scared, weak, lost, abandoned or confused.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
Mom and dad--I am much older today,
And I forgive what has been done,
Because now I understand,
It was my job to come here and learn to love my Self anyway.
Mom and dad--no worries--I have forgiven it all,
You could never teach me,
A lesson you never learned,
When you were both small.
It's okay mom and dad--I can let it go,
You could never give me something,
You never had your self,
Self love is priceless--and this I know.
Go ahead and look at me,
It's okay--I get it now,
Because you see mom and dad,
I know I am not bad, wrong or ugly.
I have found The Road Back To Me.
You were my world,
And I was just a small part of it.
You were it--it all.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
When you called my name,
I prayed it was because you wanted to give me a hug,
It used to break my heart,
When you told me I should be ashamed.
I never lost hoping that one day,
You'd see the little girl,
Beyond what only your eyes could see,
Who couldn't help but love you anyway.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
You never knew that inside,
I felt like I was dying,
Because I never felt ''enough'.
Truckloads of silent tears I cried.
In your eyes I would search for love,
That could heal my child's heart,
And make me feel a part,
Of the family I was born of.
But in your eyes,
All I could see,
Was what you could not get past,
No matter how hard the little girl in me tried.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
I got older,
And I hated my body,
I hated my hair, my eyes, and my teeth too.
It was then I began giving you the cold shoulder.
Because you couldn't love me,
The way I needed to be loved,
I thought I was no good, not enough--ugly.
And so I loved others and hoped it would set me free.
But I was wrong,
No one could love me,
Not them, nor you...
Which is why I wrote you this song.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
Boys abused my shame,
Told me I was pretty,
And that I was good,
But it only numbed the pain.
My heart only knew,
It didn't feel loved,
And so I believed the boys when they said,
"I love you..."
I learned my lessons, although I am battered and bruised,
Love isn't supposed to hurt,
Or make you feel,
Scared, weak, lost, abandoned or confused.
When I saw you look at me,
I hoped you liked what you saw,
But most of the time,
I felt bad, wrong and ugly.
Mom and dad--I am much older today,
And I forgive what has been done,
Because now I understand,
It was my job to come here and learn to love my Self anyway.
Mom and dad--no worries--I have forgiven it all,
You could never teach me,
A lesson you never learned,
When you were both small.
It's okay mom and dad--I can let it go,
You could never give me something,
You never had your self,
Self love is priceless--and this I know.
I have learned a thing or two,
On the road back to me,
I know that I am good inside,
No matter what I've been through.
Go ahead and look at me,
It's okay--I get it now,
Because you see mom and dad,
I know I am not bad, wrong or ugly.
I have found The Road Back To Me.
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Thank you for visiting my site which was created to help heal adult children of alcoholics, codependents, those suffering from codependency issues, as well as all beings suffering from low self esteem, and who seek validation from outside rather from within.
Know--you are enough!
Lisa A. Romano
healingselfesteem@gmail.com