Lady Gaga And The Law of Attraction

I just finished watching Lady Gaga on a quick video clip. In it she was giving the American Idol contestants pointers. While watching Lady Gaga I was struck by the intensity of her focus. Watching Lady Gaga was like witnessing a laser hone in on its subject.

In her eyes, in her voice and in the way she moved her body, I could tell Lady Gaga was "tuned" into not only her own vibrational enormity, but to the contestants she was trying to coach as well.

She urged them to "feel" the words and to perform the story behind the words. In essence, what she was asking them to do was to come into "alignment" with the energy of the song, in hopes that that energy would transform their talents from good, to extraordinary.

My mind could not help but be impressed with Lady Gaga's innate ability to be true to herself and to the energy that flows through her. She is unabashed by the opinions of others and devours her instincts. She is open to what is and is blessed in her allowing of energy transference; meaning that Lady Gaga knows who she is, and rather than minimize or tone that which she is, she is a wide open faucet that is accepting of the energy that she is; source energy; divinity.

For some people the Law of Attraction is just a simple phrase. It is likened to Karma; do unto others as you would want others to do unto you. Often I have heard less than aware minds use the phrase as freely as one would say "How are you?", never earnestly concerned about how the person they asked the question truly was.

But the Law of Attraction is far more powerful and real and intense than most realize. If you look at the most public of figures today; the ones that make the headlines, and if you follow their history what you will see is the unfolding of the power of The Law of Attraction.

Lady Gaga is now known all over the world. In a few short years she has raced to the top of the music industry in record speed. How can this be? How can someone so young be so successful in such a short amount of time?

Lady Gaga is not from another planet. She does not have famous influential parents. So what is it that Lady Gaga possesses that most of us do not.

Lady Gaga is in touch with what makes her who she is. Who she is is a visual performer. Who she is is a creative soul. Who she is is an individualist. Who she is is a soul in love with her own talents. Who she is is a woman who is in flow with the energy that has created her. Who she is is someone who is allowing that energy to flow through every cell and every thought and every action in her body. She is a manifestation of source energy, or as some others would choose to call divinity.

Her passion is not selfish or self serving. She is a performer who wishes us all to be who we are, and to embrace who we were born to be.

This conservative yet open minded single mother of three, has nothing but admiration and appreciation for the embodiment that Lady Gaga is. For those brave enough to open their minds and to see past the wigs and thick feline stenciled eyeliner, you will be enlightened by her authentic representation of source energy, divinity, awareness, and energy alignment.

Vibrations

It is said that each of us has a certain vibration. When we say that we do or do not like the "vibe"of someone we know, we are referring to the energy that person is giving off. We know that energy can be either positive or negative. If we believe this to be true, then it is fair to say that energy, which can be determined through vibrations can be either positive or negative. We know that we are energy beings, whose musculoskeletal systems and cardiac rhythms are powered by electrically charged minerals in our bodies. And so we can safely assume that we are in fact "energy beings" who carry with us a certain vibrational field.

What is within us will dictate what is outside of us. If our thoughts are negative, then it is correct to assume that what is happening in our "real time" is going to be negative. If the eyes through which I view my world are tainted by anger, resentment, self pity, worry, obsession, guilt or addiction, then I will only be able to "see" those things in my environment which support what I am feeling inside.

If a man is angry at his wife, his eyes will not see the time she put into making him a meal. His internal dialogue will effect how he perceives his reality and he will only see that she did not remember to put his favorite fork beside his full dinner plate.

If a woman is resenting her husband, she will not see that his working overtime is for the vacation he has planned for her at the end of the month. Her "feelings" will taint her perception and she will only feel slighted when he finally walks through the front door after a long tedious day of work.

Feelings can be controlled. But far too often we do not use the ability we humans have to force our "feelings" to work for us.

Being happy, grateful, peaceful, and content are not emotions that just show up.

In order to be happy, grateful and content, we must decide to be so and change our vibrations from within.

It is possible to cause our vibrational energy to be positive and to override any impulse to be negative. All we have to do is choose what thoughts our minds want to hold, and then fixate on feeling good.

Daydreaming about feeling good causes the vibrational energies inside of us to shift. And whenever we shift our vibrational energy from one of sadness to joy, we then effect the world at large by adding to its positive energy field.

At our core is a perfect positive energy source. At any time we can tap into that source and connect with all that is good in this world. But we cannot unless we choose to do so...

If you close your eyes and imagine everything you ever wanted, your energy will become more positive and when it does, you force the universe to align with your desires.

The opposite is also true. If you are hopeless, you will draw from the universe all that is hopeless and what you think about and what you feel will in fact show up.

The key to happiness is to be happiness...right here and right now...

Divorce: How Not To Get Divorced

If you've never been through the horror of a divorce, you cannot know the depths of confusion one must travel through while navigating along such a turbulent path. Often, it is not until you have actually come through to the other side, that you begin to comprehend just how lost you were while traveling. In the moment, our mind does wonders at justifying behaviors, and even thoughts. Our perception so clouded with doubt, despair, the fear of the unknown, and grief, we lose the ability to step out of ourselves and look in. So burdened with anxiety, it is nearly impossible to look up, let alone look in. Our eyes barely able to keep focus what stands 2ft before us, survival is our goal.

If you never want to feel these dark depths, then either don't ever get married, or learn a few emotional tricks before you do.

Marriage is supposed to be about love. Love is supposed to be about kindness, patience, selflessness, partnership, cooperation, and courage. Marriage is about "we" not "I"...........but that is not to say being a "we" replaces being an "I". One must never lose ones own self to anyone or anything.

The problem is, people enter marriage not knowing who they are as an "I". They have yet to discover who they truly are. Not knowing where they begin, what their boundaries are, what they will and will not tolerate, people enter marriages assuming everything is going to work out. More than half of marriages end in divorce, so what's up???

I admit that when I got married at 23, I had no idea who I was. I loved my husband with the knowledge I had had about love. In my mind love meant doing and doing and doing and doing, and never receiving. Codependency was my model for marriage, and so yes, eventually my marriage, like so many others ended in divorce.

The ket to not getting divorced, is found in learning to fall in love with ourselves first.

When we fall in love with the "self" first, we begin to understand that we are enough. There is no longer a need to prove our worth to anyone, and what others think of us is no longer a priority. When this emotional shift occurs in us, the hold our ego had on us, begins to fade.

When ego begins to loosen, it is then much easier for us to slip into a "we" mentality. We no longer need to struggle for power, whine for attention, or pout about not getting our way. We do for our spouse because we want to and not because we are trying to manipulate a response out of them.

So if you don't want to get divorced, first unite with your own "self". Intellectually realize your souls worth. Know in your gut, you are enough, and then enjoy the splendors of what it is to love from your soul.

When The Ones We Love-Hurt Us

Cycles...The world is full of cycles.

If when you were three years old, you interpreted your relationship with your mother or father as one in which you found yourself "feeling" unseen, chances are that feeling stayed with you. And as you grew, if that "hunch" or "feeling" was not diminished, chances are you found your brain seeking situations outside of you to validate that "hunch" or "feeling". Maybe it was the way mommy looked at your baby brother, and didn't look at you. Maybe it was when daddy took your older sister to the dentist and left you behind at home. Maybe it was the time you fell off your bike and no one noticed.

Cycles...If your mind got stuck on a painful thought, it is highly likely that inside of you you recycled that thought over and over.

As you ran through the cycles in your mind, emotions were being stirred up. These emotions then aligned themselves with the thoughts you were feeling.

Thoughts always couple emotions...

The problem is we don't always see things clearly when things are actually happening in real time.

Perception is crucial.

Let's say you were left to stay home one afternoon when your father took your sister to the dentist...At the time, you may have interpreted this act as one that was being done against you. In your mind, because of your interpretation of the situation, you then attached a negative emotion to it.

But was it valid?

What if your sister and father were going out to pick out a birthday gift for you? What if your sister was having trouble at school and the situation was serious? What if your father was picking out a new baseball glove for you? Would this change your perception? And wouldn't it have changed your emotional attachment to it?

The ego tends to make all that is, about itself. This is debilitating to us as individuals, to us as families and to us as a society as a whole.

But when we are small, and we are just learning about our world and our place in it, it is impossible to separate ourselves from the grips of our ego.

Our best shot would have been found in having been born to parents without ego's; parents who had done their spiritual work, and who understood that it is possible to be in the world and not of the world. Mothers whose interests were not found in punishing her hard working husband for working late, or in fathers who appreciated how hard his wife worked. Parents who understood that love was ego-less...That love was about lifting their partners up, and not tearing them down.

But the truth is our parents were flawed, wounded, and found themselves thinking they were in love, when in fact they were "in-control" mode. Many of our fathers married our mothers, because they wanted mothers themselves, and many of our mothers married our fathers because they wanted father.

Whatever it was that our parents didn't get in childhood, our parents married one another, hoping they could control whatever that "emotional fix" was out of the other.

Whether it was validation, appreciation, visibility or worthiness, most of our parents married from places of wounded-ness rather than from wholeness..

And so the cycle continues..

Until one day, one special day, our minds awake, find a blog like this one, or a book, or a person, who in some way helps reveal the cycle to us..

And when that day arrives, our new life begins.

Thank You For Your Posts

I am writing this entry to say "thank you". Many of you have been commenting to my blog, and for some odd reason, I have not been getting notified when you have. So from my heart, I am sorry.

I started writing with one intent; to help, to inspire, and to give hope to those struggling with emotional binds that tie them.

Emotional ties, are like nooses around the necks of our own spirits. They are ties no one else can see, yet we are strangling from. It is a lonely, frustrating existence, to be emotionally wounded, and to have no where to turn. I know, because for decades that wounded soul was I.

In response to the most prevalent sentiments shared in your comments, I offer you these words of advice. To my friend "anonymous" who is compelled to help her friend who is a complete enabler and who is destroying the rest of her family with her inability to take responsibility for her role as "parent", and thus is reinforcing her own children's inability to be self responsible, I commend you on your intuition as well as clarity. You are right. Your friend is causing deep wounds, as well as crippling her children. It is unfortunate. It is unacceptable, but it is nonetheless reality.

Our places in this world, in my opinion is rooted in learning. In learning, we grow. And this gained knowledge is not a gift we are too keep all to ourselves. Wisdom is meant to be shared.

I believe you are far wiser than your friend. And I believe your friend knows this to be true. You my darling still have work to do.

Caring, praying, inspiring, and pulling for others is not the same as enabling them. When we feel so intensely about helping others, to the point where our focus shifts, and we no longer worry more about our happiness...we have crossed the line.

You my dear are meant to be happy...that is your birthright...and if you are losing your ability to enjoy life because of your worry for others, you are diminishing your capacity to truly help...

Make the best of yourself. Take all the energy you have been directing towards helping others who are not interested in helping themselves, and pour it into you...Become magnificent....Own your happiness...Own your beauty...Own your compassion and take your lessons out into the world with the knowing that you can only inspire the truly hungry...

You will find your way...and others who might benefit from your intuition and gift of discernment will naturally find you...

Attract the hungry, rather than trying to feed the overfed...

And when you do, you join me on my vision...You help change the world one mind at a time...

Thanks for writing...

Lisa

The World's Psychic Disease

The world is suffering from a psychic disease. The psychic disease is a collective one. It reflects the disease that is found in the false self, or the ego of man.

The ego represents all the things in us we do not want to see. It is shielded by veils of criticism, judgement, anger, violence, helplessness, victimization, manipulation, obsession, impulsivity, and denial. It is the reason we repress, hide, swallow and toss in the emotional juices of panic and anxiety.

Life exists within vibrational fields. We acknowledge "vibes" people give off, but rarely question our own.

We project and scarcely look within and concede to the inclination of "choice".

Although animals, we are not primates. Within the human mind exists a consciousness which is linked to freedom of choice.

Surrounded are we by polarities; the negative and the positive. The mind has the ability to choose which vibration it marries.

Who are you? Beneath your role as mother or father, boss, or employee, friend, or clergyman, who are you?

Do you manage the workings of your inner mind, or is your mind imprisoned by the illusions of the collective?

Society has man giving into fear. We are taught to distrust our own mind, We are conditioned since birth to go against our nature..which is in perfect harmony with the breath of the universe.

We are as a rose is.

But instead we have been lied to. We have been taught we cannot trust others, their minds, their choices, their intentions. Our childhoods tainted by fright.

We are raised in fear.

This fear, collectively has us fighting wars, hating one another, competing with our fellow man, lying, deceiving, and cheating other souls. The distrust we project, represents the distrust we have of our own minds. We judge others as we judge our selves.

A fearful society is a controllable one.

Harmony is free...

Fear is priceless...

To change the world, we must first change the world we live in; our SELF. The self is our world and the collective self is the universe.

There can be no change "out there" until there is a shift within the man, The false self; the ego must die. Birth must be given to consciousness. Consciousness is the place in our minds where peace sits. It is the harmony in us that beats with the churning of the oceans and rising of the sun. The sun does not fret over thunder. It is not threatened by gail winds or tumultuous rains. The sun knows its strength. In us exists the same strength. But we must fight our false ego to find that knowing.

We are all enough. We are all good. We are all connected to divinity, and there is no separateness between us. Vanity keeps us competing and believing others are either more worthy or less worthy than we. It is nonsense. The soul is a soul.

Social experiments have proven that there can be no growth when there is fear. When a mind is in fear, its natural instinct is to protect itself from its perceived attackers. Where there is fear, there can be no growth. When the mind is flooded with stress hormones, bodily functions are impaired, slowed and harmony halted.

The freedom to choose exists.

In us all, in any moment is the ability to let go; to detach and to surrender willingly and consciously to the laws of the universe. What will be will be regardless of our attachment to fear, anxiety and our disconnection with nature. We cannot control others, their wills, their circumstances or their actions. We cannot control what lessons life teaches whom or what situations are used to teach them.

Does your mind embrace this reality, or refuse it?

If our minds are fighting constantly; in fear continually, it cannot survive. Letting go and believing in a natural order of the universe is the key to survival. Consciously dodging fear, anxiety, and attachment to things outside of us, is the road to inner peace amidst duress. It is the way towards light and towards the healing of the world.

War exists because of fear. Because the mind of man fears others, it swarms itself in baths of defense. We fight because of illusions; disruptions in harmony; in truth and in nature.

There is nothing to fear at our core. A world free of the false ego, is world where only peace can exist.

Such a global reality is attainable, but not first without it existing in the confines of mans mind first.

Healing What Was So We Can Accept What Is

Yesterday I returned home from a trip to Puerto RIco. While there I met an interesting soul that will forever stay a part of mine. Joe is 87 years old, and he is as spry as any teenager I have ever known.

We met by accident, or should I say, by God's will, one warm night by the hotel pool. He was quick witted, charming, and enjoyed bringing smiles to our faces. His eyes were a dazzling pale Caribbean blue. His hair was as white as bleached cotton, and his skin was the color of a coconut hide. He spoke of trips to Fiji, Venice and Honolulu. His eyes burst like a fireworks display as he shared stories of his adventures. Joe's feet had covered more of this earth's bounty than anyone I had ever met. But I couldn't help but wonder where Joe called home.

We divinely met Joe for breakfast the next morning. Over our three hour meal, a deeper understanding in me grew for my new friend. His fortune had come with a high price. Estranged from his children and first wife, sorrow could not help but bleed through his words when his mind looked back and recalled his shadows of memories in which in them he stood as daddy before his babies. And in spite of his children's anger towards their father today, Joe's face could net conceal the joy fatherhood once bestowed him.

Today Joe is a world traveler, sharing meals and stories with people he meets in hotel lobbies, elevators, and gift shops. He is a man who superficially seems to have it all. But soon during our third meal together, my soul knew better.

Dear Joe is in search of something no pristine beach, or rushing waterfall could ever give him. There is no corner of earth far enough away from where Joe needs to go.

I may not know Joe very well, but I know him. He is me, and I am he.

Both born into families that unconsciously conditioned us to believe that self worth was something that could only be found 'out there' somewhere, whether through financial success, beauty, popularity or the subject of envy, Joe and I were robbed of a sense of 'home' right where we are. When we should have been being taught that our worth was in being and in self acceptance, we were taught that we weren't enough unless we had 'things', made others happy, and in essence were programmed to believe that what other people thought about us was more important than what we thought about us.

In life we developed ways to control acceptance out of others in an attempt to complete the cycle of dysfunctional programming. Our end goal was to feel acceptance because this was our interpretation of love. "If people accept me, then I am worthy...then I am lovable."

Unfortunately this cycles can go in more than one direction. One mind with such programming also unconsciously believes; "If I disappoint people and don't do what they want, then they won't love me; then I am not worthy; then I am not lovable."

This unconscious cycle is the reason we run, abuse alcohol, have affairs, idolize material goods, and sabotage relationships that might have survived had our programming been based more in love than in fear.

Joe however is on his way back home. He is nourishing his mind with great authors of enlightenment and is creating the energy to attract minds like my own. He is learning that control is and always has been an illusion. Joe never could manipulate love out of anyone, or get them to do what he thought they should do no matter what he bought them, or how much money he gave them. In the end, Joe sees truth. You cannot buy real love because perfect love is priceless...We can however buy emotional band aids that ease temporary bleeding that has been caused by faulty childhood programming, but one day the hemorrhage comes.

My hemorrhage has come and it has gone, and in its wake a cleansing has taken place. The road back to me was a long one, paved by many losses, including financial, material, physical and at times spiritual. But in my recovery, my road was cleared, and a path illuminated.

My journey home to "self" demanded I go back to what once was so I could learn to accept what now is. You cannot heal cancer by treating an ear infection. You must first address the primary disease if the whole being is to be ultimately saved.

My prayer is Joe learns to listen more to his own thoughts, and develops the skill to observe the mind rather than judge it.

In those quiet moments the past is revealed.

With diligence it is possible to heal faulty programming and lay ground work for new self loving, self accepting and self reliable thoughts. But it takes practice, patience and a belief in ones self to get there...but when you have been taught to disown your self the entirety of your life, that job is a hell of a lot tougher than one might think....

But then again..Joe is no ordinary man...

Universal Truth

Where there is love, there can be no fear. There can be no war. There can be no hate.

Deepak Chopra has been quoted, "Love is being unable to hurt or be hurt".

The highest form of intelligence is knowing who we are. The most valuable knowledge is knowledge of thy self. If we do not know who we are, then who do we think we are?

The world is in a rush, but where is everyone going?

The world wants peace, but they chase something material.

Peace is a state of being; a spiritual state of being. So why do minds assume a thing, a piece of jewelry or, a home can bring them peace?

The key to happiness is in "being". It is in the silence of the consciousness. It is in the stillness of the mind. It is in the letting go of programmed thoughts.

My truth is your truth. At our core, we are all connected to the same life force that created the stars, the moon and the oceans. The same life force that designed sea horses, lions, and peacocks, created you. The same life force that churns the seas, and blankets the earth in warmth, created us all. Nothing separates us but illusions.

Profit, greed and lust for materialism has exploited the idea of separation between races, nations, and religions. But nothing, no war or natural disaster could ever destroy truth. Truth just is.

When we think of ourselves as separate from one another, we divide ourselves from the whole in our minds. In that divide, fear is born, anger is triggered, and peace is lost.

But when the mind begins to heal, the divide lessens, and an appreciation for humanity begins to blossom.

Not everyone is open to truth. Some people are blocked and are unable to embrace the concepts of unity. I leave them in the hands of my creator. For everyone else, who wants to be happy, and is open to learn from a soul who has actually found happiness, I write, I speak, I lead by example.

Love is in us all. When we connect to the fact that who we are is connected to God, and to the oceans, and to the mountains, and to the skies, it is impossible not to feel overwhelmed with joy.

What has been healed, is the divide that had us believing in separateness.

We are part of the whole. We are part of the earth, the skies, and one another.

When the divide of separateness begins to heal in our minds, so too does anxiety, depression, fear, anger and unnecessary guilt.

When we realize that happiness is an option for all, we begin to take less responsibility for others happiness, and begin enjoying our own a little more.

When we fully understand that it is only by way of example that we can ever hope of changing another, we learn to embody joy, by laughing more loudly, feeling more deeply, and loving more consciously.

The universal truth is, happiness is in us all. But first we must learn to have faith in this truth, and begin self reflecting, self contemplating, and self analyzing our own patterns of thoughts so that we can throw out what is of the world, and what is of God.

God says, " Be in the world, not of the world"......

Learning to Mother Ourselves

Who we believe we are psychologically, determines our fate.

Who we are, and where we are going, is rooted in "who we think we are".

Opinions of our selves, that were formed when we were children lay the ground work for what kind of adult we will become.

If I was told consistently, as well as treated as if I was loved, then my opinion of myself becomes a positive experience. If what has been reflected back into my psychological blueprint is love, then as life unfolded, my growing would have been well lubricated by the positivity that existed in my soul.

But, if instead I or you, were ignored, abandoned, verbally, emotionally,physically or sexually abused, what was reflected back to us, was devoid of love. When "no love" is reflected back into our impressionable psychological foundation, then who we are cannot be whole.

Love, authentic love, is the only ingredient that could ever lay a psychological foundation strong enough to sustain a life lived, with all its ups and downs, in a harmonious way.

What most people fail to realize with newborns is, that as their bones and skin are growing, so to is their mental image of themselves.

If a newborn perceives its environment as harsh due to parental neglect played out in a chaotic house that included lots of shouting, crying, and rough handling; a home that was never quiet, peaceful, or calm, the newborn begins laying down an impression of his/her environment that sends signals to the brain telling it that they are in danger. Stress glands get activated early on, which reinforces what the instincts of the child has already perceived from its environment through negative energy.

If children do not enter this world wrapped in peace, and embraced with love, they develop psychological impressions that hinder them for life. As adults, we wonder "why do I feel so negative? why do I always feel like something bad is going to happen? why can't I be happy?", and we rarely stop to wonder if we ever really were peaceful, or happy, or contented.

We all tend to make the mistake of thinking that newborns "know nothing". The notion is absurd. Infants know everything.

Newborns know more about their environments than the adults do who are sharing the space with them. If newborns had the cognitive ability to verbalize what they "felt", they could tell you whether or not their home was well or sick. They could tell you, just by the way an individual held them, if that person was peaceful or neurotic. They could tell you, merely by studying a face, whether or not that person was trustworthy or unworthy of trust.

What senses are more valuable than these?

As the newborn grows, ever supposed wise adults in their lives tell them, "You shouldn't think that-you shouldn't say that-you're going to hurt her feelings if you say that-go kiss Uncle Joe he misses you..." and so on,

We adults teach our children to disown what was God given, which is their 6th sense for the sake of conformity; for the sake of not having the opinionated kid; for the sake of wanting our child to be popular and well liked by teachers. What we reflect back to our children often times is so void of love and so riddled with fear, it is no wonder the world is run on Prozac.

The only cure to any disease, is love...But all love, must start with self love. If you love from a bridge in your mind that tells you you are only good enough if you love enough, then what you call love is unauthentic.

If you love from a perch in your mind that implies that your worth can only be measured by how worthy someone else tells you you are, then what you call love, is not love at all. It is a delusion of your own mind manifested by the blueprints that were laid in your mind as you pulled information from your environment as you grew.

Want to paddle out of this storm that has become the chaos in your life?

Then start by loving your self. Begin to lay new ground work by seeing your old programming for what it is; hogwash.

If you were not reflected love, then stand in a mirror and tell your self all the things you should have heard from your mother when you were a small child.

Repeat over and over "you are enough-you are good-you are smart-I love you-I will take care of you-I will never leave you".

In your own mind replace negative old self talk patterns with positive good ones purposefully. RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF AWARENESS and begin mothering your self the way you were supposed to be mothered as a child. Reflect all the love you missed out on back to you...

This is the route to joy.

The Addiction To Others

It is easy to spot addiction when it is an addiction to a "thing", like marijuana, cocaine, alcohol, or shopping. But what happens when what we are addicted are our feelings about other people?

It is possible to crave the attention, company and or approval of others.

It is possible for a mother to be addicted to pleasing her children.

It is possible for a man to be addicted to feeling like he owns his woman.

It is possible to be addicted to fearing what others think about you.

A dear client of mine and I were training just yesterday. She has every physical "thing" any woman could want to make her happy. She lives in a beautiful home adorned with crown molding, tapestries, and custom woodworking. In her closet, hangs designer bags, shoes and clothes. Her husband actually adores her, and tells her often how much it is he feels as he does. In fact, he loves her more today than the day he married her.

And yet, this beautiful, 170 pound woman, refuses to be happy.

As we spoke, and her heart spilled out with negative emotions, about herself, and her extended family, I felt moved by the spirit of God to ask, "So, darling if you lost 20 pounds, what would you complain about then? If you were thinner, and your family had less to point their critical fingers at, would you then be happy with all there is in your life to be happy about? If your clothes were labeled a size 10 rather than a 14, would that allow you to open your eyes and appreciate all of God's blessings in your life right here, and right now?"

She didn't know what to say.

With love in my heart I told my client that I believed that deep down, she was happy, but because she has been made to feel guilty all her life for the "things" she has, her wounded psyche, will not allow her to embrace the joy that comes from having the kind of life that she has.

If she embraces the joy, then her life really becomes that wonderful, and she might then have to let go of what she fears other people might think of her.

In her mind, if she stays overweight, then people won't be as envious of her and her lifestyle. So rather than be completely hated for having a wonderful husband and outrageous home, she sabotages her happiness because of her addiction to fearing what others think of her.

As long as she stays overweight, and has a battle to fight in her mind, then the anxiety that is showing up because of her fear of happiness, gets to go somewhere...

The problem is, because she never faces the real issue, the is staying stuck inside a huge circle of wrinkled loops of dysfunctional thought processes.

She doesn't stay overweight because she can't lose weight...she stays overweight for the sake of others.

She fears being the woman that has it all...including the house, the great guy, and the killer body...People hate that girl, and my client doesn't want to be her...or deal with the ugliness that comes from insecure others.

What she needs to see is her fear. What she needs to see is how she is losing her life day by day, to the insane need and desire to control what other people think of her...

It is her wanting to control her anxiety about her fear of being happy at the root, that is being manifested through her need to also control how and what others think of her...

The only way out of the circle is through surrender. She must surrender her truth. She must take ownership over her part in the dynamic and be willing to let those insecure negative others go. She must be willing to embrace the wonderful life her exceptional husband is trying desperately to give her. She must be willing to be as wonderful as she really is, in spite of how others might react to her if she were to no longer represent herself as the poor little fat girl, everyone must feel sorry for.

There is nothing sorry about my client. She is articulate, funny, empathetic, compassionate, hard working, successful, diligent, prosperous, kind, thoughtful, generous and attractive. But if she were to own all of her worth, the insecure, jealous, envious others she calls family, might talk about her more than they do now, behind her back. They might avoid her more than they do now, And oh my...they might not even like her at all.

In order to heal her life and live before she dies, she will have to learn to confront her addiction to others. She is addicted to controlling their opinion of her.

And until she is ready to face that head on, she will continue to fight the weight she cannot seem to lose...because if she loses that, she loses her idea of what it is that is preventing her from being completely happy.

It is a shame, that most people are more afraid of the light, than they are the darkness.....