As humans, we can walk through life, almost intuitively aware of what others need, and yet be completely unaware of what our needs are. We tell ourselves we are being good when we put the needs of others before ourselves. We fall to the illusion that whispers to us ideas that encourage us to believe that martyring ourselves for the sake of the happiness of others, is honorable.
Many of us grew up in homes that encouraged these ideas. These ideas implied we were to worry of what others thought of us. What our neighbors believed about us, was more important than what even we believed true of ourselves. We marry, divorce, and marry again, and sometimes divorce once more, entrapped by this veil of lunacy.
Truth is simple, yet obscured.
Love of thy self, is the purest of all love. Without a love of ones own self, it is impossible to be able to love purely and with conviction. Love requires a sense of knowing who one is on the deepest level. When one knows oneself as deeply as is required to know the love for another, one is sure; certain and solid.
Love requires boundaries. Love knows what love it needs, in what form, and in what amounts. Love is as unique as are the snowflakes that fall from our December skies. Love comes to us in many forms, yet we will be required to know what love to accept when it seems to show up. Perhaps it may be, that the love that arrives, is not the love that you require. Unless love of thy self is true, one may wind up as dazed as a coyote on a sandy beach.
Love is not a feeling. Love is not confusing. Love is not anxiety, nor panic or sleepless nights. Love is a knowing; a simple, knowing.
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Thank you for visiting my site which was created to help heal adult children of alcoholics, codependents, those suffering from codependency issues, as well as all beings suffering from low self esteem, and who seek validation from outside rather from within.
Know--you are enough!
Lisa A. Romano
healingselfesteem@gmail.com