Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Adult Children of Alcoholics-Why Staying For The Kids Is A Big Mistake

Adult Children of Alcoholics-What It Will Take For You To Really Recover

Dear Ones, knowing HOW to recover will require you to know the WHAT is wrong first.

If you are under the impression that your feelings are all there is to what is happening in your life, and if you are purely going by how you feel--you may be confusing what you feel with what is going on within you on a quantum level.

Yes, your feelings are the indicators.  But sometimes we ACOA's confuse pity with love, or we confuse the fear of being alone, with a mashed potato like experience of feeling or thinking we should stay in relationships.

If you are in codependent relationships--you must first learn to DETACH.


1.) Research Detachment

Getting a clear understanding of what the hell detachment is--will help you gain a conceptual idea of what is wrong as well as what it means to actually be able to detach.  Yes Dear Ones--Knowledge is power--so get on it!

2.)  Meditation

You will hear me say over and over again, that a whacky mind that is full of B/S which is nothing but recycled mental chatter--that is the result of a survival like existence--is NOT going to help you recover.  BUT quieting the mind--dropping the mind--and creating some peace and calm within the chambers of the mind will.

3.)  Psychic Vibrational Blocking

We all share quantum entanglements with others.  It is impossible not to as we are all vibratory beings.  So--if mom is a narcissist--you must block yourself from her energy.


By shielding yourself energetically with sage or by mentally commanding your brain to block her psychic energetic attacks--you literally shield yourself with protective energy.  Sound whacky? Yeah I know, but it works.

4.)  Cut The Chords

Again, because this is a vibratory universe, and because the electrons on our Atoms (our Adam) are constantly jumping, trading, absorbing, and exchanging with other energy beings (other Adams) in our experience, YOU must take control over who you share quantum space with.

If you are engaging in gossip--that is aimed at hurting someone else's reputation--uh oh--guess what kiddo? YOU have aligned yourself with the energy that is negative, harming, shaming, and mean spirited.  So, do not be surprised if you experience some negative, harming, shaming and mean experience some moment very soon.


5.) Take Inventory of Your Fears

By taking an honest inventory of your fears, you will then have created a Road Map out of the swamp that is keeping you stuck.


When you are afraid of being alone, and you know that you are afraid of being alone, you also know that you stay in relationships that suck simply because you're afraid of being alone.  

Now what?

If you know you want to be happy, but you know you stay in crappy relationships because you're afraid of being alone--then by FACING THE FEAR OF BEING ALONE you erase your need for staying stuck in crappy relationships!

Whoop Whoop!

If you do not face the fear of being alone, then what? Sure, like most people you'll blame your partner, and say things like, "He doesn't listen to me.  He lies to me. He makes me feel like sh**." 

But imagine if, instead of making excuses for why you cannot be happy--you made a list of all the fears, and then went down the list and began taking action steps to alleviate the fear?



I love You All, 


Monday, December 29, 2014

Adult Children of Alcoholics--Learning How To Spot The Bullsh**

Any adult child of an alcoholic has heard, watched and believed enough B/S to last a lifetime.  From excuses like, "I am not drunk.  I just haven't had enough sleep lately," to "Your father isn't drunk. He's just really tired from working so hard" to a plethora of other comments, we children from denial based homes have the ability to spot a lie from one thousand yards.

On a vibrational level we knew when we were being lied to when we were four, and when someone is trying to bullsh** us now, we know it too. But the problem we adult children of alcoholics have is, we do not have the skills that allow us to deal with the lies, and the bullsh** appropriately.  Many of us know we are being lied to, or deceived, but we do not know what to do about it when it is happening in the moment.

Here are a few tips I would like to share with you to help you be able to more readily take care of your inner self when you become aware that you are being abused by a liar who is essentially trying to emotionally manipulate your perception of your reality.

1.) Honor Your Gut Instincts

The next time your divine spiritual gut begins to stir in the pit of your Chakra System, honor it.  Just say to yourself, "Hmm...thank you divine self for nudging me into the awareness that this person is trying to deceive me.  Thank you for nudging me into a more awakened and heightened sense of awareness. Hmm...Thank you for allowing me the time to reflect so that I can place a boundary and be able to more readily tune into what they are trying not to say, rather than what they are trying to manipulate me into believing.

2.) Increase The Space Between You and The Manipulator

The next time your vibrational being begins to buzz so frantically that your internal vibrational gut is beginning to churn like a meat grinder--deliberately disengage from the liars position in space.  Deliberately take a step back or turn to your side to break the vibrational connection the other person is trying to control between the two of you.  By deliberately taking a physical action that symbolizes your desire to break any quantum entanglements you absolutely hinder and sometimes even block the other persons ability to hijack your quantum being.  Disengaging on a quantum level, is enhanced by you taking control over your physical vibrational being by sidestepping the manipulator.

3.) Lock Your Eyes On Theirs

The next time your vibrational being signals to you that you are being lied to, lock your eyes on theirs. Regardless of how the manipulator looks down, to the side, and around, keep your gaze on theirs. If the manipulator looks down, keep your eyes fixed until the manipulator looks up again.  If the manipulator looks to the side, have your eyes fixed and ready to begin the stare again.  Stay firm in your stance.  Try not to move, except to the side or to step back, all the while making it clear that you are in control of what information you are allowing to flow into your mind.  When you make it clear that you are seeking clarity and that you are not afraid of what information is being revealed as well as not revealed, the energetic manipulator will begin to feel uncomfortable as the manipulation they are trying to send your way--is being repelled back into their energetic and vibrational space.  When you repel their energy, they are unable to feed off of the energy that arises when they feel like they have confidently been able to deceive you.  This incomplete dysfunctional energy loop will leave them feeling totally out of whack and out of sync.

4.) Rebuke The Information

When you have become aware that you have been lied to, deliberately say out loud, "I rebuke that information." By doing so you command your brain to delete any information the emotional/vibrational manipulator tried to program into your consciousness.  By taking control over what information you allow to get inputed as data into your computer brain--you successfully learn how to own your own being.  Overtime you will become the human lie detector you were born to be, and your trust in self will rise.

Essentially we adult children of alcoholics have spent a lifetime of being fed other people's negative bullish**.  Because we have been taught to ignore what we feel, or because we have been ashamed of what we feel, we tend to attract people into our realities that are designed to deceive us, and feed us loads of nonsense.  By arming ourselves deliberately, and by owning our own ability to use our divine instincts as the indicators and guidance systems they were designed to be, we finally learn how to take back control over our own vibrational beings.

In honor of all vibrationally deceived beings out there, past and present--this article is for you!


Lisa A. Romano
Coach For Life

Friday, December 26, 2014

Racism-What If Its All A Big Fat Stupid Lie?


What if racism was a big fat lie?

What if our own unconscious automatic associations have duped us?

What if our language and the metaphors we have been socialized to accept, were somehow infiltrating our perceptions of others, based on preconceived ideas about the meanings we attach to colors?

What if we as a human race have been programmed to view the word white with purity, while we have also been programmed to associate the word black with things that are not pure?

What if the way we have all been socialized to think of the colors black and white have seeped their way into our subconscious minds and have somehow interfaced with our perceptions of people who are either black or white?

What if we are prewired to think of white to mean good and black to mean bad or less than good?

What if we as a species are hardwired to associate morality with the color white and immorality with the color black?

What if as a society we all unconsciously and unknowingly behave and make decisions based off of preconceived perceptions we have associated with the colors black and white, and what if as a society we never questioned the idea that how we have been groomed to metaphorically understand the meanings we attach to the colors black and white, and instead continue to misunderstand basic cognitive and behavioral findings that suggest that human brains are prewired to associate white with good and black with bad?

What if we never considered or explored what kinds of global and societal ramifications these findings could create in terms of how human beings interacted with one another or how we interfaced with our own Selve’s?

What if human beings were intended to seek the ‘light’ in terms of enlightenment, and to avoid the ‘dark’ in terms of staying unconscious of mind?

What if man has misunderstood the concepts of light and of dark throughout ions?

What if man has mutilated the internal automatic impulse to perceive light as good to more ignorantly and unconsciously correlate those impulses to the colors of people’s skin?

What if man himself is so in the dark, that he has fooled himself, and led generations of civilizations to presume that the innate impulse to view light as pure has sadly been misappropriated and mutilated in the most repulsive form?

What if unconsciously those of us with dark skin misunderstand our own perceptions of dark and light?

What if unconsciously those of us with dark skin project our own misunderstandings and perceptions of dark and light onto others?

What if unconsciously those of us with dark skin on some innate level struggle with our own perceptions of black, and white?

What if unconsciously those of us with dark skin struggle with secret shame because we are unaware of the knotted neuro-associations our brain has absorbed surrounding the concepts of black and white?

What if unconsciously those of us with light skin misunderstand our own perceptions of dark and light?

What if unconsciously those of us with light skin project our own misunderstandings and perceptions of dark and light onto others?

What if unconsciously those of us with light skin on some innate level struggle with our own perceptions of black and white?

Imagine men in most unawaken states, either black or white, behaving in societies in ways that have them acting out of total unconsciousness and misperceptions of the colors black and white?

Imagine a man so intelligent and highly cognitive that he chose to separate the accepted metaphoric associations of the colors black and white from his perceptions of man as an individual being?

Imagine a species so cognitively evolved, that it rebuked any notion that implied metaphors applied to a man’s worth as a being in regards to the color of his skin?

Imagine a mind so advanced that it chose to be aware of its mind’s own reflex to associate purity with the color white and impurity with the color black, and also chose to willingly separate any moral label to any man based on the color of any man’s skin?

Imagine a round table of beings of all colors openly and authentically sharing their most unexplored associations and perceptions of the colors black and white, and in what and in how many ways those perceptions have impacted their thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs and behaviors over a lifetime?

Imagine a world full of light-minded people who were both black and white skinned? -

Imagine a world where all beings understood and accepted that black and white people were just figments of their unexplored delusions?

Lisa A. Romano
Enlightened Thinker
Life Coach and Author

Deeyah Khan: Solidarity doesn't cost anything--Why We Must Love One Another if No One Loved Us

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Adult Children of Alcoholics--Live Call In Radio Show With Lisa A. Romano 12/27/14 9 a.m. EST

Any of us from dysfunctional families understands how difficult the holidays can be.  Family dynamics can explode with a glance of an eye, or a tapping of a fork.  For those of us with explosive parents, siblings or extended family members, we often need to tone ourselves down just to be able to tolerate the, what seems to be required time needed to be spent with others who absolutely know how to push our buttons.

For this reason I am doing a live radio show this coming Saturday December 27th at 9 a.m.

If you would like to be a part of this live call, just follow the link below.

If you prefer to just listen in, and take some notes that would be awesome as well.

To all my Adult Children out there, hang in there for the Holidays.  We are not alone!

Let's sober up emotionally this coming Saturday at 9 a.m. EST on Blogtalk Radio with Lisa A. Romano.


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Group Coaching Class

Thank you to all who have signed on to participate in my upcoming Group Coaching Class.  I am looking forward to the opportunity to teach you the skills you need to meet some of an ACoA's greatest challenges.

If any of you are interested in taking part in the next class, which will take place in March 2015, please notify me at lisaaromano@gmail.com

Adult Children of Alcoholics-Stop Thinking--Start Doing

If there is one commonality amongst we Adult Children of Alcoholics that holds us back from moving forward in our life more than any other, it is the fact that we tend to get stuck in our damn heads, and ignorantly sit back and act as if we are powerless to their looping.

Over and over we succumb, like paralyzed marionettes to the dysfunctional, nonsensical, unfair, critical, condemning, judging, self pitying, anxiety provoking thoughts that loop in our minds. Most often these thoughts haunt us as we are drifting off to sleep, when sadly our subconscious minds are the most vulnerable to data.  Like an excel sheet waiting to be inputed with data before the closing of a days work, our subconscious minds accept the nonsense of our thoughts and logs it.  While we sleep, our subconscious minds are victims to the only data we falsely believe we have control over.

We ACoA's have been lied to in more ways than most of us realize.

Many of us have been brainwashed to believe we are sinners, and that forgiveness, and salvation are things we mortals must work to achieve.  We have been conditioned to believe that god is some entity out there in the sky somewhere that is keeping a record of our wrongs.  We have been sold a sale of goods for the sake of being able to be controlled by larger super powers seeking to fund unique cash cows for individual agenda's.

Dear Ones, it is not just our parents who have taught us not to believe in the power of Self.

The Truth

The divine truth is there is only a stream of well being and abundance and we are either staying with the flow of that divine power or we are pinching ourselves off from it.

How do we pinch ourselves off from the stream of divinity and abundance?

Whenever you or I fail to act upon our higher guidance, we pinch ourselves off from the very creative power that is responsible for creating the universes themselves.

Why is this lesson so important for Adult Children of Alcoholics?

This information is critical for wounded Adult Children from dysfunctional homes because in order to manifest abundant life experiences--one must first--believe one is worthy of abundance.

And because ACoA's and ACoN's have been minimized, criticized, treated with indifference, abandoned, and abused, our very upbringing has us stained with impressions that have left us feeling unworthy of love, as a result of not having been adequately bonded energetically to both mother and father energies.  Feeling rejected by the beings that created us--causes us to reject self.

The Big Lie

The really, really big lie is--we are not mortal.  We are in fact eternal energetic beings trapped inside physical hides with the ability to flow with the universal stream of abundance or not.

The Really Sad Lie

You and I have been brainwashed to believe we are only worthy when someone else says so.

That's a bunch of B/S Dear One!


Be like the bees, the birds and the trees Dear One...Be you, fly high, and seek only to love--and embrace all that is you--no matter what others say--or do...

Monday, December 8, 2014

Adult Children of Alcoholics--We Are As Sick As Our Alcoholics :(

Post is dedicated to the incredible Robin Williams. Thank you for the laughter you brought to the world.  And I am sorry, you never quite found the words or the ideas you needed to change your world Dear One...

Lisa A. Romano
ACoA Life Coach

On the road to recovery, there have been many twists and turns.

Awareness is as inspiring as it is gut wrenching.

Coming into the understanding that in all my enabling, care-taking, denying, ignoring, justifying, pacifying, complaining, and martyrdom indicated that I was just as sick as the people I thought I was in someway smarter and more moral than, made me feel like I was being torn in two.

As one part of my invisible self began to resonate at a higher vibration, at same time there felt as if humility was in some way dragging me lower than I had ever been before.

Coming through the birth canal of transition and evolution, I can now appreciate how necessary my need for hitting emotional rock bottom was to my total recovery.  But at the time, when my three small children and I were preparing for the biggest shake up of our lives by leaving the home they were born in without their father, rock bottom felt like my entire self was being dragged across broken glass.

From the Eye In The Sky Perspective I can now see that when I was complaining, whining, and throwing tantrums, I was doing so from my stunted emotional inner child's vantage point.  It was not until I was humble and willing enough to accept my responsibility for my own happiness as well as misery, and embraced my higher adult self, that I was able to accept total responsibility for ALL that was going on in my life.

Healing did not happen for me until I first merged with my Higher Self--or my Holy Spirit--the spiritual aspect of my being that is divine and all knowing.

Until we Adult Children of Alcoholics are willing to step into Higher Realms of our Selves--where our divinity resides, we can only heal so much of what has been done to us when we were children.
Some aspect of Mother/Father Self must be strived for and attained in order to help our inner child heal.  Because many 12 step programs are rooted in asking God for help (Father Self), this may be the reason programs work in some cases.

What does work, is discipline.

We Adult Children of Alcoholics need to become disciplined of mind, of spirit, and of body.  Until we embrace the reality that all we need to heal ANYTHING that has been done to us--is already within us--we tend to REACT to our pasts and to our presents as children who still in some way falsely believe that some ONE or some THING out THERE somewhere is going to be able to slap a Band Aid over our boo boos and make it all go away.

No Dear One...this is not the case.

Right there--in every friggin' cell of your BODY is DNA. Divinity Naturally Available as I like to refer to it :)

Yep.  DNA is actually Divinity that is Naturally Available. And until you embrace that idea, you will tend to seek healing from some other source than from your own infinitely intelligent being that is energetically--spiritually connected to all that is.

Quiet the mind Dear One, it is the only way to connect to the Holy Spirit within you--that absolutely knows the way to your healing--as well as to your own salvation.  YOU hold within you Dear One, all the necessary components you need to deliberately create the realities you deserve and desire.

But first Dear One--you must be willing to see your Self from a Higher Self Vantage Point, so that the inner child in you can learn to believe that her/his Higher Self can handle dealing with life in a healthy way.  Your ego self will not let go of the pain of the past until you have successfully integrated with some aspect of your Higher Self.  The ego self/man self will not release the  armor that is pain, until he/she/it fully believes its Higher Self can protect it moving forward with healthy internal as well as external boundaries.

"In You there I Am, and in me, there You are"

Namaste Dear Ones...Namaste..