Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Fear of Being Alone--Embracing Our Divine Aloneness


Although none of us can recall this truth--the fact is--we were each born alone.

And it is also a fact--that as our energy/spirit leaves our physical carcass behind--the essence that is us--will leave this physical existence--alone.

As we exhale our last breath, what shall we be thinking, feeling or wondering about? Will how others think or feel about us be the last conscious thought on our mind? Will we be wishing we bought that bigger home? Will be hating ourselves for eating that extra cupcake? Will we be wishing we could go back and curse out our ex? Doubt it...doubt it very highly.

Mania, I believe is what shows up in our minds as we try to run away from what is the inevitable; our aloneness. Scramble as we do to try and occupy our minds with this and that, or with worry of he or she, our minds dance around the walls of its own home, fleeing from what it most needs to embrace; aloneness.

Thoughts keep our mind detached from what is our aloneness. Rarely do we allow the voices in our minds to quiet down so, that we can hear nothing but silence, and yet, in order to be truly free and peaceful, this is precisely what we all must learn to do.

Learning to calm the chatter in our minds is no easy task. Some of us so addicted to "doing" to "movement" to "worry" and to "feelings", that the very idea of calming our minds is a completely foreign notion.

At the core of each of our souls is truth. Truth is there whether we acknowledge it or not. Those of us who attempt to run from it harder than others, experience the most emotional upset in their lives. Those of us who have learned to embrace it, find life a much more comfortable ride.

The truth is, you are alone. No one is coming to the rescue. No one can make you into who you were meant to be. No one that is, but you.

What is also true is that each of us, although alone in the most basic sense, are also connected to all that is. Born of divinity, just as every mountain, and ocean, you and I too, share the source of our very existence.

Embracing aloneness is to accept that we have the ability to choose what we care to think about. Learning to discern worthy thoughts from non worthy thoughts is a skill one must commit to teaching ones self. It is not an easy task. It is difficult, like clearing out an attic that has been used for storage for 5 decades. It is daunting, tiring, and exhausting to just think about. However, once the space is cleared, clutter is gone. There is no more tripping, stumbling or falling over dusty things. Space has now been created for new life.

At our core, the truth lies. We are all enough right where we are. When we stop struggling to "feel" like more, or to try and convince others we are "enough", and embrace instead our imperfectness, we find that being alone with our spirit really isn't so bad after all.



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Thank you for visiting my site which was created to help heal adult children of alcoholics, codependents, those suffering from codependency issues, as well as all beings suffering from low self esteem, and who seek validation from outside rather from within.

Know--you are enough!

Lisa A. Romano
healingselfesteem@gmail.com