Saturday, June 26, 2010

Learning to Mother Ourselves

Who we believe we are psychologically, determines our fate.

Who we are, and where we are going, is rooted in "who we think we are".

Opinions of our selves, that were formed when we were children lay the ground work for what kind of adult we will become.

If I was told consistently, as well as treated as if I was loved, then my opinion of myself becomes a positive experience. If what has been reflected back into my psychological blueprint is love, then as life unfolded, my growing would have been well lubricated by the positivity that existed in my soul.

But, if instead I or you, were ignored, abandoned, verbally, emotionally,physically or sexually abused, what was reflected back to us, was devoid of love. When "no love" is reflected back into our impressionable psychological foundation, then who we are cannot be whole.

Love, authentic love, is the only ingredient that could ever lay a psychological foundation strong enough to sustain a life lived, with all its ups and downs, in a harmonious way.

What most people fail to realize with newborns is, that as their bones and skin are growing, so to is their mental image of themselves.

If a newborn perceives its environment as harsh due to parental neglect played out in a chaotic house that included lots of shouting, crying, and rough handling; a home that was never quiet, peaceful, or calm, the newborn begins laying down an impression of his/her environment that sends signals to the brain telling it that they are in danger. Stress glands get activated early on, which reinforces what the instincts of the child has already perceived from its environment through negative energy.

If children do not enter this world wrapped in peace, and embraced with love, they develop psychological impressions that hinder them for life. As adults, we wonder "why do I feel so negative? why do I always feel like something bad is going to happen? why can't I be happy?", and we rarely stop to wonder if we ever really were peaceful, or happy, or contented.

We all tend to make the mistake of thinking that newborns "know nothing". The notion is absurd. Infants know everything.

Newborns know more about their environments than the adults do who are sharing the space with them. If newborns had the cognitive ability to verbalize what they "felt", they could tell you whether or not their home was well or sick. They could tell you, just by the way an individual held them, if that person was peaceful or neurotic. They could tell you, merely by studying a face, whether or not that person was trustworthy or unworthy of trust.

What senses are more valuable than these?

As the newborn grows, ever supposed wise adults in their lives tell them, "You shouldn't think that-you shouldn't say that-you're going to hurt her feelings if you say that-go kiss Uncle Joe he misses you..." and so on,

We adults teach our children to disown what was God given, which is their 6th sense for the sake of conformity; for the sake of not having the opinionated kid; for the sake of wanting our child to be popular and well liked by teachers. What we reflect back to our children often times is so void of love and so riddled with fear, it is no wonder the world is run on Prozac.

The only cure to any disease, is love...But all love, must start with self love. If you love from a bridge in your mind that tells you you are only good enough if you love enough, then what you call love is unauthentic.

If you love from a perch in your mind that implies that your worth can only be measured by how worthy someone else tells you you are, then what you call love, is not love at all. It is a delusion of your own mind manifested by the blueprints that were laid in your mind as you pulled information from your environment as you grew.

Want to paddle out of this storm that has become the chaos in your life?

Then start by loving your self. Begin to lay new ground work by seeing your old programming for what it is; hogwash.

If you were not reflected love, then stand in a mirror and tell your self all the things you should have heard from your mother when you were a small child.

Repeat over and over "you are enough-you are good-you are smart-I love you-I will take care of you-I will never leave you".

In your own mind replace negative old self talk patterns with positive good ones purposefully. RAISE YOUR LEVEL OF AWARENESS and begin mothering your self the way you were supposed to be mothered as a child. Reflect all the love you missed out on back to you...

This is the route to joy.