Thursday, April 19, 2012

Healing The Adult Child Within You

When you are raised by adult children of alcoholics, you are thrust into a world of scattered thoughts, mixed up feelings, and often find yourself feeling not real.  Your parents are disconnected within themselves, and don't even know that they are.  This means you, as the child are left to face the world in many aspects--alone, without any true sense of what is real, and what is not real.

Because alcoholism is like a thief that steals the soul away from its victims, the addict is unaware they are soul-less and not connecting to the ones who love them.  Those of us who live either with addicts or who are being raised by adult children of alcoholics, feel lost-disconnected-isolated-and alone.  Because we are denied healthy parents who are connected to themselves and who appreciate their own selves, our parents lack the skills required to teach us, their children how to connect to our own selves.  We then wander out into the world empty, and lacking the ability to own or even know what we think or value what we think.

Because alcoholism is a disease that is about denial, our parents deny, even to themselves there is anything wrong.  We the children feel as if EVERYTHING is wrong, but our parents--the people who should be raising and teaching us, deny us the right to even feel like everything is wrong, because they are alcoholics, or adult children who have never sought recovery.

What then is a child to do who is being raised by adult children of alcoholics who deny anything is wrong?  What then is a child supposed to do with her/his feelings of confusion, loneliness, and isolation who feels crazy or guilty for feeling what he/she feels?  What happens to children who live with parents who are so self absorbed, who are so close minded, and who are so deeply ingrained in denial, when these children feel the anxiety they do?

The Road Back To Me is a story about a little girl who was raised by two adult children of alcoholics, who were unaware and sadly unconcerned with how their own parents disease of alcoholism had effected them.

The little girl in me once was denied her right to feel, to express and to be...

The Road Back To Me was written to honor the little girl in me who never felt like she had the right to feel, to express or to be...

While writing this story, and finally finding the courage to publish it has been cathartic for me as the writer, I dedicate The Road Back To Me to all those children, regardless of their age today, who once had no voice, because alcoholism wouldn't let them speak.