Sunday, April 22, 2012

When Little Girls Tell The Truth

My book has been available now for one week.  As of today it is ranked 22 on's bestseller list.

It warms me to know that perhaps somewhere is a soul who, through my story may feel not so alone anymore.

A member of my family has begun letting me know he believes it was wrong of me to write a book about my family.  He said that he thought I was selling them out just to sell books.  And of course, he is wrong.

When I was little, I was invalidated in big ways and small.  Labeled very early on as the "overly emotional child" the one with the problems, was like being forced to go through life with duck tape over my mouth.  I felt like I wasn't allowed to speak, or to express what was inside.  And today, I am surprised there are still some of those emotions left in me.

I know who I am.  I know what I felt, and I know it was right to give the little girl in me the right to finally tell her truth.

What I was not permitted to express, and what was deliberately ignored, and chastised in me when I was a child, will no longer be kept a secret.

When little girls tell the truth, sometimes it makes the people in her life uncomfortable.  The adults in our lives fail to fully comprehend that one day we won't be so little anymore.  One day, little girls become women and learn to slowly remove the sticky tape from the corners of our once silenced mouths.

My parents didn't know they were hurting me, although I have met some therapists who would disagree.  Two adult children of alcoholics, they were both victims themselves of incredulous circumstances.  Their denial so strong however, and their need to stay in control of their emotions so at the helm of their lives, telling the truth, seeing the truth, or even feeling the truth is not possible.  Emotions upset apple carts.  And adult children of alcoholics don't like having to deal with picking up apples off of the floor.  They'd prefer to ignore the stench of rotten fruit.

Backlash may or may not come as the result of me telling the world what the little girl in me always wished she had the right to say.  But I need to stay focused, and not concern myself with what may or may not be backlash from those that I love.

My soul purpose for The Road Back To Me was to foster self understanding and subsequent self responsibility through increasing others self awareness, so to facilitate others healing of old childhood wounds.  So as the criticism and accusations come to pass, I wanted my readers to know I am committed to this cause--our spiritual cause.

Little girls and boys need to tell the truth, even if those around them do everything they can to make them feel like their truth is a lie.

One day, all little girls and boys grow up like I did...and finally learn to discover The Road Back To Me.