Monday, June 25, 2012

Codependency Is Epidemic

Codependency is rooted in childhood.

It is the result of emotional wounds that occur during childhood that damage the child's sense of self, and worth.

Consistent stress or fear in childhood results in faulty childhood programming that hinders a child's ability to connect to and form a healthy sense of self and worth.

As adults these wounded children believe unconsciously that their worth is 'out there' somewhere.

They believe that their worth can only be found in others.

They forsake their own needs for the sake of relationships even when those relationships are unhealthy.

They are dependent on others, for their sense of worthiness.

Codependents are enabling, people pleasing, and self sacrificing individuals that attract wounded souls into their life experience that they can take care of, and thus achieve their sense of worthiness from--in the taking care of the other.

They are often devastated by the idea of ending even a dysfunctional relationship because they unconsciously believe in their 'emotional dependence' on the other for their sense of worth.

Codependents stay locked in the dynamic unaware they are enabling the partner they unconsciously believe they are helping.

Because these belief systems are unconscious, the dynamic plays out over and over, until eventually the relationship crashes and burns, and sadly sometimes as the result of traumatic events, like domestic violence, drug overdose, adultery, mental and emotional breakdowns, and even suicide.

I wrote The Road Back To me because I understand that codependency is rooted in childhood, and is the result of conditioning and programming that is operating the adult codependents life unconsciously.

My book uses my life--and in emotional detail attempts to capture the moments as well as the thoughts I was thinking at those critical times when I was being wounded and forming my beliefs about my self, and the world.

I intend on writing many more books--to help make 'codependency' as clear as possible so others can heal the root causes of their dysfunctional relationships with their selves as well as others.

Today we call codependency all sorts of things like insecurity, bulimia, anorexia, divorce, adultery, depression, domestic violence, and perfectionism.

And in my opinion all of these issues have to do with people not understanding at a soul level that they are enough, and that they truly have the potential to make themselves happy, and that that happiness is not dependent on others in any sense.

I use my life as a canvas and invite people to explore and hopefully relate to some of the ways I was wounded and thus programmed in a dysfunctional way--so that others can live a more joyful life experience.

I am hoping that my book helps draw codependency out of the closet...

Because codependency is so closely associated with addictions like alcoholism, its an emotional disease that has been polarized.

Our happiness is not and should not depend on others.

Others are to add to our happiness--not be the source of it--or take from it...