Saturday, March 20, 2010

Desperation and What It Really Means

There are people who regardless of how many times the person they care about tells them the relationship is over, hang on anyway. Rather than hear what the other person is saying, they refuse to accept the other persons reality and they cling instead. In their minds they have completely altered reality for the sake of their own fears and insecurities.

So why can't some people let go?

Some clear cut rules need to be applied to any relationship.

1.} The relationship must be fulfilling, uplifting and rewarding to both parties.

2.} The relationship should not engulf either party, but help enhance an already full life.

3.} The happiness, security, and contentment of one person should never hinge completely on the other in the relationship.

4.} Both parties should feel and believe they are on the same page in the relationship.

5.} People should recognize that fear is not part of a healthy relationship, so if you are with someone because you fear you will never find someone else, or you believe no one like him/her exists, you are holding on out of fear, which will only come off as desperate.

6.} Lying on any level is not permitted. If you are happy being with someone, say it. But if you need space or time, or are angry, disappointed or unhappy with your partner, if you love them, you will tell them.

7.} Love is not about fear, control, manipulation, resentment, or neediness. Love just is, and the best kind of love, is the love that allows you to let go.

8.} And when the relationship changes and or ends, if the love shared between the two people was real, then parting need not be dramatic. Instead there is a knowing that moves in, that gently urges the two people to let go of something that was very good for a place in time.

How you end a relationship says as much about you as how you spent your time in a relationship. No relationship is perfect, because no one person is perfect. But true authentic love is perfect....And although it defies what the ego based mindset of man suggests should be true, the truth is that the more perfect and true the love was, the more gentle your heart becomes when it is time to say good bye.