Monday, May 16, 2011

I Am Addicted to Feeling Needed

Dear "I am addicted to feeling needed",

I hear you...In you there is this urge to seek those who are wounded. We want to rush in, wrap our hearts around others and make them feel better. Superficially we tell ourselves its all about them-the person we are intending to help. But the truth is-that's a lie.

When we find ourselves continually attracting the broken hearted, or the drug addicts, or the financially burdened-when we continually attract those who just cannot seem to get their lives together, there needs to be a moment of clarity in which we are able to step out of ourselves and see the big picture. It is necessary and quite possible that we embrace the gift of allowing, and "allow" our minds to see our lives as if we were watching it on the big screen, detached from the emotional strings of the circumstance.

Often the "addicted to feeling needed", complain about how hard they try to get others to change. They know in their hearts they are right and if so and so just did what they told them to do, so and so's life would change, and get better. The "addicted to feeling needed", tell themselves how good they are for sticking around. They find a sense of self worth by throwing themselves onto the hot coals of someone else's garbage. They believe they are martyrs for how hard they try to get others to get their lives on track. But, again, its all a lie.

When we have crossed that line, and have begun caring more about what others need and think, than what we need and think, we have gone too far. Never is it okay to care more about others needs than our own, to the point where we feel used, depressed, violated, unappreciated, guilty, or angry. If you are helping someone to the point where you have begun experiencing negative, toxic emotions by aiding someone, you are surely simply attracting more of those negative feelings into your life {vibrational energy}.

Okay...really hear through my words what I am trying to teach you. The best teachers are those who have experienced what it is they are trying to teach. I have been there. I have been addicted to feeling needed and to people pleasing. It sucks...let me help...

The only reason you were created was to feel joy. Joy, happiness, and peace are your birthright. But can you experience joy, and know that happiness is yours if you do not first love, and respect your own unique self?

Is it possible to attract positivity, if ones own self image is negative? It is not...

In order to be happy in this life, it is essential to become selfish...but not in a "Now I don't care about anyone else but me" spirit. Instead, when I say selfish I mean, learning to get quiet enough so that you can begin hearing your own voice-your own inner guide-your own spirit-your own vibrational energy.

If you are addicted to feeling needed, you are out of step with your creator-what made you you. You are out of vibrational frequency with positive energy. In you is a you are the you is your truth, but you have been taught to "de-value" your self, and so you can no longer hear your own voice.

When you were little, perhaps you were ignored psychologically. Perhaps your caretakers put you down, or simply never showed up the way your soul needed it to. When we are taught that what we need is unimportant, we are taught that what others need and think is far more valuable than what we feel about ourselves. It then becomes nearly impossible to tune ourselves into our own inner positive vibration, because we were never taught to listen to our own self.

Out of step parents unaware to their own needs, create disharmony within children. Negativity is then transferred from parent to child, and unfairly children are programmed to be out of sync with who they truly are. Rather than be nurtured positively, and taught to stay in tune with who they are, children are abused, ignored, abandoned and thus grow under clouds of depression, anger, sadness, loneliness, despair, confusion, and self doubt. All these negative emotions create negative energy within the child, and so "love of self" is a foreign concept.

It was your parents job to help you honor "you". But if they didn't, chances are that is because they do not honor their true spirits. They may honor money, prestige, power, control, drugs, or manipulating others into doing what they want them to do...but that is not of "spirit". That is of the physical which is purely ego.

When I was addicted to feeling needed, I was looking to be validated for my good works. I did not know how to satisfy my own spirit by my own self praise. I did not know how to look within, and to connect with the fact that I, me-Lisa Champion {my birth name} was created by the same energy that created the heavens, and the oceans. I did not know that I was as important as every creature and any creature that walked the earth. I did not realize that keeping myself small, I did nothing to improve the world in which I live. I did not appreciate that my voice mattered, and that I could change the world, even the world of one person, for the better. I did not know then, that loving myself first was not selfish, in a bad way. I did not know that in order to truly love others, I first had to learn to honor and love my "self".

Being addicted to being needed means you are looking for worth in the sacrifices you make for others. It means you attract needy people for your own ego based needs.

The ego will lie to you and tell you you need to be better than everyone else. It will do all it can to keep you from truth. The truth is you are no more important nor are you any less important than anyone else. We are all equal.

The ego doesn't want you to embrace that knowledge because when you do, it dies.

The ego does not want to die. It wants to inflate itself, and will manipulate circumstances in which opportunities are created in where the ego gets to feel big. If you continually seek others who need you, your ego gets to complain, whine, yell, and pout over the sacrifices you have made for the sake of others.

What would happen if you let that all go? What would happen if you let someone fall instead of running to protect or save them? What would happen to your ego if it had no pity party to reign at? What would happen in your mind if you no longer had phone calls to make that consisted of you crying over how hard you try to be good and to help others?

If the rescuing stopped, where would the ego go?

If you are strong enough to see the truth in what I have written, you may be strong enough to handle letting go of rescuing others completely. You are the one with the problem. Your energy is attracting its vibrational match. Unless you change the energy within you, expect more of what you have been attracting thus far.

When you learn to see how manipulating your need to be needed is, you will understand that that is why you keep getting manipulated. Your rescuing is manipulating ego praise and faulty self worth from others. And your manipulating will attract manipulators. Its that simple. And it is the law of attraction. What you give out you always get back.

If you want love, first be love.

If you want peace, first be peace.

If you want generosity, be generous.

If you want to be praised, praise.

If you want to be loved for who you are, then love who you are.

If you want to be accepted, first accept who you are.

If you want positivity, be positive.

If you do not want to be needed, stop needing.