Sunday, April 29, 2012

On The Road Back To Me

I am currently working on my next book, 'On The Road Back To Me'.  In it I will discuss how I struggled to reinvent my thought process towards healthier ideas, so that I could spare my children the splintering effects of codependent thinking processes and behaviors.

Finding The Road Back To Me was one thing.  Staying On The Road Back To Me was quite a different journey than the first.

In life we are bombarded in every moment with choices.  We may not consciously keep ourselves ever aware of this concept, but it is my belief that we should.

Many times I disowned my right to choose, and instead stayed in chaotic, toxic, unsatisfying places, because at the very least things were predictable.  Afraid of change, and a deep rooted fear of the unknown, rooted in the notion that I could or should not trust my own self, kept my stymied much of my life.

Throwing ourselves into an abyss for the sake of healthier, and happier days is a courageous act, for we have no bearings to help us navigate the future unknown terrains.

All too often we beings fail to rely on our ability to choose, and to trust our internal guidance system, the one that so instinctively lets us know by way of our emotions, whether we are heading in the right or wrong direction.  We beings choose to stay where we are -- mentally, and continue doing what we did the day before, simply because we fail to challenge our thoughts to think a different thought.

We think others should think like us, or do what we do, or want what we want, and get stuck in the byproduct of resistant thinking.

Change is like being dropped off in a foreign country with a blindfold on.  Its that intimidating, that daunting, and that life zapping.  Nothing is familiar.  Nothing sounds like home, and nothing feels right.  So accustomed to dysfunction, we know nothing of the sweet aromas of possibility, or hope, or of letting go.

For those of us who find the courage to take the leap into the abyss of the unknown, most of us discover that we are more aerodynamic than we ever realized.  As the dust of newness settles, and we begin to learn to ease up on our resistance to change, we come to rely on the one source that we often ignored -- our inner being.

Your inner being and mine wants only one thing -- joy -- that can only by found by way of love.

Our ego's -- our minds -- our patterned thought processes, fails to allow new tracks to be laid out in the brain.  So afraid of change, or of being made to feel vulnerable, our ego's help us to learn how to distract from those things that challenge our predictable lives and protects our false identities from being exposed to others.

We play the game.  We smile on cue.  We do bad things behind others backs.  We never tell the truth, especially not to ourselves.  And in all of it, we deny our right to be in love with -- truth -- joy -- others -- and life itself.

In order to be truly happy, we beings must learn to tell the complete truths, especially to ourselves.  Because if we don't, we miss out on the ultimate human experience.

Love your 'self'.  Know what your priorities are.  Follow your bliss.  Challenge your old thought patterns.  Don't be so resistant to thinking new thoughts. And most important, be gentle with your self and others.  Journeys are meant to be shared.  When our priority is love, and not to be right, we simply cannot get it wrong...