Monday, May 7, 2012

Forgiving The Other Woman

When we find ourselves being lied to, and that our lovers have lovers other than us, we are often left with veins full of anger.  Our lives turn inside out, and upside down. Its all we can do to just keep breathing. So afraid of believing that our man could ever be completely responsible for the affair, we take our rage out on the other woman, in the hopes of relieving some of the pain that is left in our veins.

Unfortunately however, our anger is misdirected.  Often times the other woman, thinks you are the other woman.  More often than not, we women have been 'played', 'manipulated' and toyed with like some recreational hobby.  So in fear of being alone, or perhaps facing the demon called, humility, we run towards the easiest target, and refuse to face the fact that we were wrong about our man, us and our relationship.

I am one who firmly believes in 'Sisterhood'.

I am hoping that as time marches on, women become more self fulfilling, and need to be validated by men less.

I am hoping and believing, that as women begin to honor themselves for the miraculous creatures they are, that they no longer require a man in their life to feel validated or worthy.

I am hoping that as we women learn to forgive one another, we fear facing life alone less, if that is what we need to do.

I am hoping that as women educate themselves more deeply about how to 'love themselves', that we also learn to love one another more too.

If we woman had not been taught to be envious of one another since we were tiny children, perhaps we would not be--the sometimes catty creatures we are today.

Cinderella, and Snow White, although I do believe they were kind, empathetic creatures, did little to empower the little girls we all once were.  The messages received in fairy tales like these, do more harm than they do good, and do little but reinforce the idea that women need be envious of one another, and that woman need to be rescued by men.

And so, when our prince turns out to be toad, we are left feeling disillusioned, and broken.

But in that time of broken heartedness, is when we need to love our selves the most.

Denying the truth, displacing the blame, and staying angry only keeps the dysfunctional illusion of the life we are living--alive.

Illusions are better off dead.