Monday, July 16, 2012

Buddhism, Christianity, and The Law of Attraction

Its been a rough week.  Just when I felt like I was getting a hold of my emotional state, an argument with my twenty year old daughter kicked me right off of my meditation pillow, out of my vortex, and into a dank hell.

Because thoughts--like birds of a feather attract unto themselves their equals, my world quickly began to fill with dukkha, (pain).

As a recovering codependent, I was quickly dragged back into a world of self doubt, self criticism, and saddened by my daughters disapproval.  Angered by an opinion I had expressed to her about something she had decided to do, my motherly advise was sharply dismissed.  It was not her dismissing me that created the dukkha in my being.  It was her onslaught of insults that followed that did.

For days I found myself wandering, questioning, and feeling off balance.  And it wasn't until I began to parlay all the teachings I had ever learned, did my emotional state begin to shift.

My work in codependent recovery urged me to first--detach.

My interest in Buddhism urged me to simply observe my emotional state, and not to judge it.

My christian background reminded me to accept my daughter as well as myself as imperfect beings.

 My understanding of the Law of Attraction helped me to release and allow my daughter to feel and be whatever she wanted, even if in the moment she was choosing hurtful words that made me feel like she was pushing me away.

I have come through my last dukkha phase feeling more content than ever before.

I am not a woman in denial.

I am a woman who is infused with a deep burning desire to know more, to love more and to understand me--my children--my life--and the world MORE.

I am not an ignorant woman who believes she knows it all.  I am very aware I know nothing for sure.

I am thankful for the dukkha, the self doubt and the sorrow that has recently filtered through my life, for it has allowed me the opportunity to transcend it and love my daughter as well as me--even more....