Sunday, October 14, 2012

Emotional Abuse 102

Emotions are miraculous.  Designed to be ones internal guidance system, often times however, our emotions get toyed with by others.  If we were children who were raised in homes by alcoholics, or adult children of alcoholics, chances are our emotions were considered inconvenient things.  As a result many of us walk through life feeling screwy, discombobulated, and full of self doubt.  These miraculous things called emotions, we do not trust; we loathe instead.

Most programming and conditioning of the subconscious mind occurs when the brain of the being is young, innocent and most impressionable.  When a child's needs are consistently frustrated by an emotionally unavailable or self absorbed caretaker, the negative emotions the child 'feels' imprints the subconscious mind with negative perceptions of Self.  Because the child is unable to cognitively comprehend that their parent is infested by a soul eating disease like alcoholism, narcissism, perfectionism, fear, arrogance or any number of absorbing psychological disease processes, the child turns upon him/herself and through the wounding of their souls learns to perceive that their parents inability to express love in an intimate way is the result of the child's unworthiness.

This negative impression that is communicated to the subconscious by way of the emotions, is like a missile.  As the child grows he/she will continually find people, situations and circumstances that reinforce that negative false belief.  This child will be drawn to beings who liken similar emotional tendencies as his/her parents, and will unknowingly attract emotional vampires into their experience.

Emotional abuse occurs long before we adults discover ourselves in domestic violence abuse situations.  The likelihood of a child who was raised by a non emotionally available caretaker of suffering from emotional abuse later on in adult life is great.

As adults our goal is to learn how to accept our feelings as the indicators they are rather than to deny or judge them.  If you are in a relationship with someone who sparks negative feelings within you, it is your divine internal guidance system that is attempting to get your attention.  Your negative emotions are the way in which your inner being communicates with  you. And when you dismiss, judge, or deny your emotions, you quite literally halt the flow of positive energy within the body, which only creates more negativity, much like an energy loop.

As caretakers it is our responsibility to help our children learn to use their emotions to their advantage.  It is our goal to be there for our children emotionally, and to help them find the courage to move out of situations that are causing them emotional harm and towards more pleasing life experiences.  It is our aim to help our children learn to honor those internal hunches for the miraculous guidance they are, and to learn how to remove themselves quickly from others who may be attempting to use our children's emotions against them.

For those who have been raised by enablers, caretakers, rescuers as well as the irresponsible or over responsible, it is often times a difficult task for us to unravel our own personal subconscious programming effectively enough so that we may offer our children the most healthy advice.  In the end the better we know and appreciate our own minds, and the impressions we received when our minds were the most impressionable, the more clearly we will be able to help our own children create most abundant life experiences.