Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Healing Emotional Abuse 103

When you are the adult child of an alcoholic, or like me, when you are the adult child of an adult child of an alcoholic, healing can be quite the adventure.

Because we have been taught to disown Self, often times we do not fully realize we have been emotionally abused.  We are so suppressed, and disconnected, we aren't even aware of how much trouble we are in.  In spite of continually attracting the same type of emotional vampires into our lives, we sometimes never make the connection to our pasts. Many adult children live their lives telling themselves as well as others, that everything is 'just fine'.

One of the most difficult aspects of alcoholism abuse, is the fact that many survivors don't  'get' that they've been abused.  So accustomed to enabling and catering to others at the expense of Self, many adult children have become deaf to their own souls.  Because adult children were emotionally neglected as children, their antennae for love and nurturing have sort of crumbled away.  Adult children often times settle for what shows up--even when what shows up--is crap.

An important component to healing from codependency is acknowledging the pain that has long gone been buried beneath survival skills.  Although adult children sometimes have a difficult time acknowledging the fact that they have been wounded, the scars remain, suspended in time--until the being finally becomes allowing of the pain to surface.

Allowing, surrendering and accepting the pain of the past is always uncomfortable.  Luckily there are countless organizations and meetings all over this country that support the codependent healing process.

If you want to heal--first you must peel--and then feel...eventually you then learn how to deal..with your feelings...and then finally you will heal...